Teufel - If I had a dollar for every time someone called me gay while hugging another man’s balls, I’d have enough money to pay for their sex changes so they can get that vagina they’ve always wanted.

Teufel - For the record: if you listen to music written by hipsters for doofuses, your opinions about metal are automatically invalid.

Teufel - Retards come in all shapes and sizes and from all corners of the globe. These four rocket surgeons all come from Italy, all love Opeth and none of them realize they’re only helping prove my point about how much their favorite band fucking sucks. I’m glad we all agree they’re terrible… even if you are too dumb to realize you just fucking agreed with me.

Teufel - Tyler Turner didn’t take too kindly to me making fun of his attempts to get under my skin, so he decided to respond and put all of his 141 IQ points to work… well… 41 of them anyway.

Teufel - Many people send me e-mails where the gist is I should like something because other people like it, despite my personal opinion being that whatever it is fucking sucks. Thankfully, I ignore these people and their stupid opinions.