Cephalectomy set to release An Epitaph To Tranquility on July 17th

Canadian mystical death grinder Cephalectomy have announced they’ll be releasing their fourth full length effort, An Epitaph To Tranquility, as a free digital download on July 17th.

Yes, finally the news you’ve all been waiting for. The new Cephalectomy album An Epitaph To Tranquility will be available for free download on Friday, July 17th. The album consists of 12 tracks and clocks in at just under 31 minutes. The download will include the whole album (Mp3 Format @ 320Kbps) + the album artwork at full quality, so for those of you who didn’t order a cd, the option to burn/print off your own copy will be there. We don’t have a 100% exact date for when we will have the cds in our hands, but for those of you who ordered copies, they will be in the mail as soon as we have them. Thanks to everyone who’s supported us over the years! Stay Sick!

New Cephalectomy material, available for free on Friday.  If this news doesn’t give you a death grinding boner, you are truly dead to me.  All of their previous recordings are fucking amazing, especially their last effort, The Dream Cycle Mythos.  Haven’t heard it?  Here’s a quick sample fresh from the band’s website;

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Their entire Eclipsing The Dawn full length is available, remastered and free, from the band’s site, be sure to check it out; http://www.cephalectomy.com/

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Putrescence announce line-up changes

Winnipeg death grind maniacs’ Putrescence announce the sudden departure of guitar player Colostomy Bag Darrell from the band.

“Bag Darrell has decided to pursue a degree as a Mortuary science student at the Gary University of Funeral Service Education in Indiana,” commented Teufel’s Tomb scribe and Putrescence vocalist Soiled Depends while enjoying the twisting fumes of a Black Snake firecracker celebrating July 4th in his back yard. “It turns out that he thinks he’ll be even more brutal in life without our band holding him back. I think it’s a bunch of bullshit. We’ve sang about a million more corpses that he’ll ever get to embalm. We’re accredited in death metal and Fulci movies; he’s going to be accredited in washing a hearse. It’s fuck all, really. Maybe there is hope for us here…or maybe we are just going mad.”

“I got tired of being a shitty bar metal band,” replied Bag Darrell when tracked down for comment at his new residence in Englewood, Chicago. “Opening up for Drowning Pool and Exhumed were a couple of boner moves for sure and now it just never stops. They seem to love it; the parties, driving fast, getting wild, but you know I need to think about me before I end up getting angrily stomped to death or something”. Bag Darrell plans to complete his studies in 4 years and looks forward to cremating the members of Putrescence one day. “You tell people the truth: I didn’t get kicked out, I left. I’m gone, just like the frigid snows of yesteryear.”

While the news may come as a shock to fans worldwide, Soiled Depends is pleased to announce that things are moving ahead with the band.

“We got this guy that people in the band are excited about. Grimmgore called me from the Camen Islands to tell me about it yesterday. His name is “Snake J. Danger Terror”. Apparently he doesn’t frighten easily and from what I hear he has absolutely no faith in anything. We’ve been using his gear for the last four years and I don’t seem to have a terrible feeling about the bands’ sound changing at all.”

Be on the lookout for the re-vamped Putrescence who will soon be announcing a brief string of Eastern Canadian tour dates.

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Belgian grinders Leng Tch'e begin work on their new full length

Belgian grinders Leng Tch’e have announced they’ve begun work on writing their new full length, and first since the departures of Aborted’s Sven de Caluwe (drums), guitarist Geert Devenster and vocalist Boris Cornelissen (ex-Suppository).

So it’s been a while since our last update but that’s because we’ve been crazy busy playing shows (UK Deathfest, Neurotic Deathfest, Gore Galore Fest, Suffering Life Fest – they all kicked ass) and writing songs for the next album. That’s right, I said it! We currently have 14 songs ready for a total playing time of 35 minutes. The plan is to record drums at the end of this month, guitars and bass next month and vocals in September. Then it’s off to England to mix and master that sucker with grindcore producer extraordinaire Russ Russell (Napalm Death, Brujeria, Venomous Concept)! We couldn’t be more stoked. The new material is fast, brutal and with that extra touch of Leng Tch’e special sauce that made Marasmus a heavy metal landmark, ha! Expect a release somewhere late 2009 / early 2010.

And keep your eyes peeled for the Nasum tribute album coming out this month on Power It Up Records.

Leng Tch’e’s last release was a split effort with Canada’s Fuck The Facts on Power It Up Records ( review ) which was the band’s first recording with the “new” line-up.  To be honest, Fuck The Facts‘ half of the split was really good, but the Leng Tch’e material was a little flat in comparison to their previous efforts.  I’m hoping they’re able to get back on track with the new full length, more killer, less filler!

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Malevolent Creation's Phil Fasciana is a retard

You’ve probably already heard about this, but if you haven’t, here is proof that death metal musicians are fucking retarded… (from Blabbermouth)

Guitarist Phil Fasciana of long-running Florida death metallers Malevolent Creation was reportedly involved in a bizarre shootout at a convenient store in his hometown of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. According Fasciana, he pulled into a small store at around 3:00 p.m. Friday afternoon (July 3) to get something to drink and walked right into a robbery in progress. “I went in this little store on my way home to get a chocolate milk, of all things, and little did I know, I was walking into a life-or-death situation,” he says. “When I walked into the store, I did not notice anyone else in the store until someone started screaming at me and pointed a gun at me. I nearly shit myself, because the dude looked wacked out of his mind and fired four shots directly at me and I went down to the ground because I thought I was surely shot. After about 30 seconds, I realized I was not hit at all and the shooter thought I was dead or injured and started attacking the store worker when I snuck up behind the burglar and talked [to] him and took the gun out of his hands and told him to get out of the store. He then reached in his sock and pulled another gun out and pointed it at me and that’s when I fired two shots into his head, killing him instantly!

“Never in my life has anything so twisted happened to me before and I would like to forget it ever happened, but I had no other choice. Lucky for me, the stupid crackhead burglar had the worst aim in the world and missed me with all four shots from about 10 feet away! Needless to say, all charges have been dropped and the store owner has offered me a lifetime of chocolate milk! Ha Ha!

“I have been in some scary situations before, but having someone shoot out you from that close and miss is a fucking miracle and I have no remorse for killing the assailant who tried to take my life and the store owner’s.

“I gotta move out of this town!! I have enough problems as it is!!

“I am very lucky and could easily be dead at this moment, but I’m not and I’m gearing up for our Mexican, South American and European headlining tour which start at the end of July.

“I would like to put this behind me and not talk about it anymore. It was the most fucked up thing I have ever been involved with, besides my ex-girlfriend!!”

UPDATE: According to Phil, the entire incident was captured on the store’s surveillance video, but the police has yet to release the tape.

Sound pretty fucked up and far fetched?  It gets dumber…

“Due to the ridiculous amounts of e-mails, MySpace messages, text messages and phone calls concerning my misfortune a few days ago which resulted in someone dying, I need to straighten a few things out that have been taken out of context and are wrong about the story.

“When I walked into that store to buy something, I had no idea the store was in the middle of being robbed. I immediately felt something was wrong when I walked in, because it was very quiet and the man working behind the counter was staring at me like I was gonna rob the store. When that 80-pound homeless crackhead yelled at me and pointed his gun at me and fired four shots at me, I thought i was surely dead and had no time to react! After realizing I was not hit, I slowly crawled around to the back of the store, and while the gunman was screaming at the worker, I ran down the isle he was in and tackled him with the intention of beating the living shit out of him. I did not try approaching this man and try reasoning with him and take the gun from his hands like it was reported on Blabbermouth the other day. The guy already shot at me four times and surely would have shot at me again if he knew I was still alive and I’m not retarded enough to think I could talk my way out of that kind of situation.

“When I tackled him and starting beating the shit out of him with the dude working there, he dropped the gun and I grabbed it. I had no intention of shooting him until he reached for another gun in his sneaker and looked at me, and before he got the chance to shoot at me again, that’s when I shot him in the face two times and put an end to that whole nightmare!

“By no means am I a hero. I could have easily just ran out of the store like a pussy after realizing I was not shot and left the store worker to most likely get killed, but I was so pissed I just wanted to beat the fuck out of that loser who just tried to end my life over nothing. Anyone in my situation may have done the same thing, but nobody knows when something like that could happen to yourself or how to react just like me.

“The gunman was a homeless crackhead who was living somewhere behind the plaza the store was in and has apparently been a problem for a long time, and to this day, the police still cannot identify the man because he has no identification and nobody will come forward and tell the police who he is.

“I have a lot of personal family problems that are far worse then what I just went through and asked the police if it was possible to keep this story from getting in the press and having my dying father and grandfather have to know about something like that happening to me.

“As for the idiots who are calling me a murderer and other ridiculous things, [you] can FUCK OFF!!!! I didn’t want this to happen to me and I surely did not wake up that day knowing I was going to kill someone trying to defend myself over a fucking chocolate milk I wanted to buy from a store!

“I would appreciate some alone time and for this whole thing to blow over and stop making a big deal about what happened to me, if at all possible. Let some crackhead who is foaming at the mouth point a 45 gun at you and start shooting at you and try to imagine what you would do. You don’t think I was scared? I just couldn’t believe he didn’t hit me with at least one of the four bullets he fired directly at me.

“Needless to say, it’s over and done with and cannot be taken back, and I will have to live with that image in my head for the rest of my life, but at least I am alive and can get back on tour with my band Malevolent Creation for our Mexico, South American and European tours starting in a few weeks. Hopefully that will keep my mind off all the negative shit that is surrounding me.”

His story sounded so stupid and unbelievable that a radio station in the UK went to the effort of calling the Fort Lauderdale police department to get confirmation on the story… instead, they found out Phil is completely full of shit;

U.K.’s Rock Radio spoke to a homicide detective at the Fort Lauderdale Police Department about Malevolent Creation guitarist Phil Fasciana’s claim that he was involved in a bizarre shootout at a convenient store in Fort Lauderdale on July 3, 2009.

Commenting on Fasciana’s claims, Detective Mark Shotwell of the Fort Lauderdale Police Department told Rock Radio that he’s unable to find evidence that any such event ever took place.

“This did not happen,” Shotwell said. “Our last murder was on June 22 and Fasciana was not involved. I’m certain of this. Even if the death was a result of self-defense, it would still be classed as a homicide and investigated as such.

“All witnesses, reportees, victims and suspects are entered into a database, but the most recent entry for Fasciana is on April 1, involving him and a female in a domestic dispute.”

Rock Radio spoke to Fasciana about Detective Shotwell’s comments, and the guitarist replied: “The store where it took place isn’t considered Fort Lauderdale. What happened is true and I really don’t know how it leaked into Blabbermouth because I never told anyone about it.”

(For the record, Fasciana’s original statement was sent to BLABBERMOUTH.NET from one of two separate e-mail accounts that Phil has confirmed that he is in control of. BLABBERMOUTH.NET did not edit Fasciana’s comments except for clarity and no other person contributed to the story.)

But Shotwell explained: “There are about 15 suburbs near Fort Lauderdale, but all murders use the Broward County Medical Examiner’s office for autopsies — mandatory in a homicide. There have been no murders in the entire county during July.

“Homeless crackheads would trade a gun as soon as they got it and I’ve never seen one with two guns. And the scenario as described would have made headlines — even in Miami.”

Fasciana’s final word on the matter (as told to Rock Radio): “This is the second time I was involved in the death of a homeless man. Me and a friend were driving, completely sober, about six years ago, and a homeless drunk dude ran into the street. We ran him over and killed him with several witnesses. I’m flipped out over this and many near-death experiences I have had living in this shithole Fort Lauderdale.”

So how does Phil respond to being called on his bullshit? By having a hissy fit.

“Concerning this idiotic debate over my involvement in an attempted robbery and shootout, I wish everyone would believe it is not true and leave me the fuck alone.

“For all the retards who hide behind a computer all day at mommy’s house and talk shit about rumors on Blabbermouth and other heavy metal-related websites, you need to get a life!!!! Get out of the house and maybe someone will try robbing and shooting you one day!!!! Then I would like to hear your reaction!!!

“I never posted or told anyone but my brother about what happened to me afterwards. Why would I post something that horrible on Blabbermouth or anywhere on the Internet and have people know what I had just gone through? I found out by friends a day later that they read that news about on Blabbermouth. Why and who posted, I have no idea and it has nothing to do with music or my band, so why it would be on a website that is and used to be about finding out information about heavy metal bands and the news concerning the bands that have news to release about there bands future happenings and releases. Now it is just a big gossip column for people who have no life and talk shit about people.”

(For the record, Fasciana’s latest e-mail was sent to BLABBERMOUTH.NET from the same e-mail address as the original message which contained the details of the alleged shooting incident. Phil subsequently confirmed to BLABBERMOUTH.NET that he is, in fact, in control of this e-mail account.)

“This is the second incident I have been involved with that resulted in someone dying in South Florida and I’m glad they both were not glorified in the news and press.

“A few years ago me and a friend were driving on a very busy street in Ft. Lauderdale when a drunk homeless man ran into the street and we ran him down and killed him and there was no way to avoid it. It was in the afternoon with many witnesses, and when the police arrived, we told them what happened and let us leave and that was the end of story!!! Me and my friend were mortified and there was no news about it or information given to us afterwards at anytime.

“South Florida has bigger problems then homeless people robbing liquor stores and small corner stores with hopes of getting caught to go to jail purposely so they have a home for a few days!!!

“My mother was robbed at gunpoint after leaving work and trying to make a money deposit after her work day and got robbed for over $25,000 of the store she manages money and never got any justice and there was no news or anything done for her.

“Two of my good friends were gunned down in a Denny’s restaurant parking lot and killed for no reason and nothing was done or had any news about what happened to them and that is heavy shit!!!!

“Believe what you idiots want!!! This whole incident is as dead to me as the fool who tried killing me!!!!! This is why I haven’t gone to Blabbermouth for music news a few years ago. There is hardly any music-related news. If someone in a band has a hangnail or stubbed their toe, it is reported on Blabbermouth and people shit-talk about it.

“Some of you people need to get a real life. When something horrible or tragic happens to someone or someone’s family that can create problems and drama, most people would like to keep that news out of press just like me. Because of retards that have nothing better to do than spread rumors and news, it’s too late for me to have my family not know about what happened to me and has caused even more problems for me and my family.

“And for the record, the robbery and shootout didn’t happen in Ft. Lauderdale!! So there is some more wrong info for you idiots to debate about.

“I have been in jail and arrested for many stupid things while living in South Florida and I never got to make the news down here and I’m glad!!!! As I’m sure many other people who have been involved with tragic or embarrassing incidents that got them involved or in trouble would like it as well.

“Believe what you want!!! I’m going to band practice!!!! I have a life!!!”

Congratulations, Phil, your Darwin award is in the mail.

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Swedish death metallers F.K.U. set to release Where Moshers Dwell On July 24th

Swedish “horror” thrash metallers F.K.Ü. have announced they’ll be releasing their latest full length opus, Where Moshers Dwell, on July 24th through Metal On Metal Records.

That’s right, it’s time to reveal all the gritty and gruesome details about our upcoming 3rd and most lethal offering yet. The new album entitled Where Moshers Dwell features 17 tracks of neck-snapping Horror Thrash Metal that will leave you for dead, yet begging for more. The album was produced by the band and recorded at Blueflame Studios, mixed by Lawrence Mackrory at Great Scot! Audio and mastered by Mats Lindfors at Cutting Room. The album artwork was created by horror artist mastermind Jeff Zornow and contains a brand new 10-page F.K.Ü. comic book. Special guests on the album include cult actor and Daddy Freddy himself, Robert Englund, as narrator, the man with the sickest death metal-pipes in the world, Jörgen Sandström (Vicious Art, The Project Hate Mcmxcix, Torture Division, Krux, ex-Grave, ex-Entombed) on guest vocals on “Bedilia – Back For Cake” and last but not least, Ryan Sorensen (Engorged) delivers a mind melting shred on the song “Faster Than The Shark”.

European release date is July 24th (US & rest of the world dates TBA) through Metal On Metal Records. The album will be available through all well-stocked CD-vendors and online shops but also through Metal On Metal Records and our own band website.

Tracklist:

1. Welcome To Your Nightmare
2. Where Moshers Dwell
3. Twitch Of The Thrash Nerve
4. Faster Than The Shark
5. The Pit And The Poser
6. Dead Coroner
7. Almost Metal
8. Hate Your Guts (Love Your Brain)
9. Bedilia – Back For Cake
10. Worms
11. Sleepwalker Texas Ranger
12. He Knows The Drill
13. Six Feet Ünderwear
14. Phantom Killer Attack
15. Blairsville Blues
16. Horror Metal Moshing Machine
17. Highway To Horror

New F.K.Ü. disc featuring narration by Freddy Kreuger himself and a full comic booklet by Jeff Zornow?  Fuck yeah!  If you haven’t heard them already, do yourself a favor and check out their MySpace page and check out some samples!  Great shit!

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Montreal-based tech death metallers Neuraxis seeking new drummer and bassist

Montreal, Quebec-based technical death metallers Neuraxis have announced the departure of bassist Yan Thiel and drummer Tommy Mckinnon via a their MySpace page;

The time has come again for us to refresh the Neuraxis family as we are now seeking a new drummer and bassist. Nothing really juicy to tell. For Tommy, his priorities began to differ from ours while on the road until it became clear to us that he was no longer enjoying the touring lifestyle. He wishes to go back to school to complete his education. As for Yan its just been a case of him deciding to further his working career and he can no longer dedicate himself to the band. This has been going on for many years now and its time for us to have a full-time bassist on board. Both of them will continue playing in other musical projects. We thank our metal brothers for all the good times we had together and wish them the best for the future. Tommy and Yan will be fullfilling all our summer shows already booked ending with a fitting show in Montreal at the Club Soda on Sept 11th 2009.

With that being said, we are excited to get some new blood in the band. For those interested in auditioning for the drummer and bassist positions , visit our myspace page to learn the following 3 songs: “Dreaming The End”, “Darkness Prevails” and “Clarity” and make sure to read all the requirements before getting in touch with us. We ask you to video tape yourself playing these songs, add it to your youtube page and send us the link by myspace. Include Drummer audition and Bassist audition in the subject.

I wasn’t super thrilled with Neuraxis‘ last studio effort, The Thin Line Between, so hopefully two new members can inject some new energy into the band.

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Obituary and Entombed among the first 18 bands announced for Maryland Deathfest in 2010

The organizer’s for the annual Maryland Deathfest have announced the first 18 bands for next year’s event, scheduled for May 28th-30th, 2010.

16
Birds Of Prey
Entombed
Eyehategod
Fuck The Facts
Gride
Gridlink
Haemorrhage
Howl
Impaled
Incantation
Ingrowing
Massgrave
Obituary
Pentagram
Portal
Sinister
Tombs

Obituary!  Entombed!  Sinister!  Incantation!  Portal!  I think I just got a fucking boner… and I mean that in the most manly and hetero way possible.

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Burzum's Varg Vikernes announces plans to record new album

Blabbermouth reports recent parolee/murderer/arsonist/prison escapee/racist douchebag Varg Vikernes has announced he’s written 9 songs for the first new Burzum album since 1999’s Hliðskjálf, which he recorded in prison.

He tells Norway’s Dagbladet that several record labels are interested in issuing the band’s first LP in eleven years. “I want to take my time [with the album], so that I can get it the way I like it,” Vikernes says. “It will be metal, and the fans can expect to hear some real Burzum.”

Dagbladet has posted several exclusive excerpts from Varg Vikernes’ as-yet-unpublished book which he wrote during his nearly-16-year prison stay. The book contains Varg’s personal account of of what transpired in the years from the Norwegian black metal community’s inception in 1991 until he was convicted for murder and church fires three years later.

“I am not the ‘Count’ that has been portrayed in the media,” Vikernes tells Dagbladet. “That is just sad. Those who have known me a long time know that what was written about me was not the complete truth. But I am partly to blame for how things were presented in the press. That’s why I wrote this book, which I hope to release via a publisher. I will lay this issue to rest and put what happened behind me. I will begin a new phase in life.”

Dagbladet: Do you regret the fact that you killed another human being?

Vikernes: “I cannot regret the fact that I took the life of someone who wanted to kill me. I felt threatened by his plans, but it was never my intention to kill.”

Dagbladet: Do you think that you can kill again?

Vikernes: “Everyone is capable of killing. But there is less chance that I will kill again, because I’ve been in that situation before, and so I know better how to deal with it. It is not possible to know how to behave in threatening situations before you even end up in such a situation. Had I been in the same situation today, I would have contacted the police first.”

Dagbladet: Are you a racist?

Vikernes: “Yes. But I don’t hate anybody. Hate is irrational. I am a rational person.”

Dagbladet: Are you proud of who you’ve become?

Vikernes: “Yes!”

Dagbladet: Do you feel that people are afraid of you?

Vikernes: “From how [things] have been portrayed in the media, I understand that [is the case].”

Although his parole application was denied four times — most recently in September 2008 — Vikernes received word in February that he would be released after serving almost 16 years in prison. He was finally allowed to leave this past spring, according to Dagbladet.

Vikernes currently resides in Bø, a municipality in the county of Telemark, Norway. Varg purchased the farm sometime last year and lives on the property with his French wife (whom he met while he was incarcerated) and son.

“It was completely random that we ended up buying a home here,” Vikernes tells Dagbladet. “We wanted a quiet and peaceful place with beautiful scenery outside the city. It is so beautiful up here. Here we can be by ourselves. But there is a lot of work that is required to maintain the house, lawn and garden.”

I really don’t care how influential a musician he may be, he’s a complete fucking douchebag and I’m hopeful he’ll wind up doing something really stupid soon so he winds up spending the rest of his days rotting in a prison cell.  Either that or he should do like Dissection’s Jon Nödtveidt and off himself.  What a fuckin’ tool!

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