First of all, thank you for proving my point about Dragonforce and their fanbase being homosexuals. People like to claim I’m full of shit, but, here we have proof that guys who get pounded in the pooper are Dragonforce fans.

Does it offend you that as I read this I’m imagining every “s” you type sounds like “th”? Just curious. Not curious in that way, clearly I am an eater of red meat and a lover of vagina, although I do admit to occasionally throwing my hotdog down my girlfriend’s Hershey highway. Sometimes I lick it and stick a finger in it too.

As far as having gay friends go, my friends are gay enough as they are, I don’t need them listening to Dragonforce and turning into bigger queens. To be frank, I know more about gay life than the average bear. Granted, I’ve never experienced the stabbing of my poo or the throating of a kielbasa, but I did spend 5 years working in the porn industry for companies whose primary bread earners were gay porn sites and had to work on a depressingly large amount of time processing gay porn videos to put up on the websites. You’ve probably jerked off to websites I’ve worked on. You should be thanking me for that and giving me a high five, but… I know where your hands have been so I’d rather not.

In those five years I met a lot of gay dudes. A lot! Some of them were very uncomfortably gay, the flaming queens who are more effeminate than women. Then I met some who were butch lesbian gay types, they acted kinda manly but it was just awkward and weird. The rest were pretty normal guys, you’d never know they loved the cock by talking to them, but they did share one common bond; they were all Dragonforce fans. Ironical, ain’t it?