Teufel: I've got to be honest, when I first heard about your band, the first thing that popped into my mind was "great, another stupid grind band with another stupid grind name singing about eating dead babies and shit eating", which was obviously a huge mistake on my part, since you are none of those things. I know it's explained in your bio, but I'm going to be annoying and ask anyway; why did you choose Circle Of Dead Children as your band name and what does the name signify? Joe: I chose the name after some disturbing image that was in my head after a bit of daydreaming. I had an image in my head of a flag from every country laid down into the dirt and on top of each flag was a dead child from that country who died for some pathetic reason. The flags were in a huge circle, hence the name, Circle of Dead Children. We stuck with that moniker because we thought it could work well for us for a few reasons; it's screwed up enough that most people remember it, it's meaning fits the lyric scheme, and because it could generate questions like this one that I'm answering!<

Lyrically you've chosen to stray from the norm and write more thought provoking lyrics, than simply gurgling about eating dead babies and worshipping the devil. Words are constantly being misconstrued and people tend to get the wrong impression when trying to interpret the work of another human being, just look how often the bible is misinterpreted, everyone seems to have their own interpretation for every line of scripture. Rather than pretend to know what emotions, opinions and messages you were trying to get across, why don't you explain to me, and your fans and our readers, what you have been expressing lyrically, because I honestly have no fucking clue.
Joe: I've always liked to write and I knew that there would be no way that I was going to contribute to the stereotype that metal bands have stupid lyrics. The way I see it, there is a world of influence out there, so why not use it? There is no one theme to my lyrics. There have been a few songs dealing with my belief that as humans we're all programmed with some subconscious goal of global annihilation. That's pretty much the theme for our next record which we just finished recording, The Genocide Machine. I also have written about depression, love lost, economics, separation of Church and State, free thought, the self-oppressive work system, and a ton of other random shit.

My last question was a perfect lead-in to my next question. Damn I'm good. Speaking of the bible and religion, what is your opinion of Christianity, and religion in general?
Joe: You are definitely a genius! I see all religion as a means for self-degradation and just a way to weaken your own free-thinking capabilities. I think it's all pathetic. I think it's a shame that we're to the point that so many people have to rely on faith and fear to make their decisions in life. I grew up in a house of very devout Roman Catholics and was raised to discard reason and logic in favor or faith. Well for me that just doesn't work. On one end, I think that if worshiping a microwave causes you to live a better life for both you and others, then so be it. But the other side of me just thinks it's a shame that so many people feel they have to worship anything, be a microwave or a god-figure, to live life well.

What is your opinion of gore and the typical lyrical subject matter of most extreme metal bands?
Joe: To each his own I guess. I just think most of it's boring and repetitive, that's all. It's been done a zillion times over and it's totally lost it's shock value that made it cool in the beginning. It just makes me appreciate the people who take the time to write about more worthwhile topics a bit more. I listen to a ton of bands that have terrible lyrics, but it's the ones who are not only strong musically but lyrically as well whom I most admire.

For the most part I've found that most 'brutal' bands who sing about killing and molesting things have no sense of humor and generally get offended if you make fun of them for writing about eating dead babies and killing christians. I've also found the same to be true about most politically motivated groups who sing about certain issues, yet include the word "fuck" as many times as possible in an attempt to... I don't know what, exactly, it just makes them sound stupid. Does anyone in Circle OF Dead Children have a sense of humor, or are you all anal retentive tits like, say... everyone in Dying Fetus?
Joe: Oh yeah, I totally agree. I think too many people take themselves too seriously. It's just a big turnoff to me to see shit like that. I think we're about as non-uptight as you could be. Hell, at one of our last shows we did a raffle drawing with the crowd and gave away things such as glow-in-the-dark dildos, Playgirl, Playboy, cookie-cutters, styrofoam airplanes, etc. Our new bassist, Alf, is notorious for his sick-ass "poop tricks" and Ben, our new guitarist, is known for taking a megaphone to shows to yell at the bands! I just couldn't handle being in a band that acted like a bunch of tight-asses... you have to have fun.

I read in the bio that your drummer, Jon Miciolek, is one smart cookie. So smart, in fact, that he was accepted, and schooled at Berkley. What did he major in?
Joe: Oh shit, no he didn't go to college there. He's Berkley taught for drumming. He went there for a while to study drumming to aid in learning different approaches and techniques. He goes to school in Philadelphia, which is about 5 hours from the rest of us.

Oh... thank you. Now I feel even dumber than usual... Speaking of intelligence, just what is the quantum physics equation to get his hair to spike up like that? Or does that have more to do with biochemistry and molecular engineering?
Joe: He slammed his cock into a car door and his hair has been that way ever since. No real science, just auto-to-cock dynamics.

Another thing I noticed about the EP is that you also did the artwork used on the cover. What can you tell me about it and why the title "Cost Of Impatience"?
Joe: Yeah, that picture was the first real painting that I ever did. I messed around on a few pieces to get used to the way the paint blended and dried and stuff like that, and then I did the cover piece. I used all acrylics for it, which was a real pain in the ass to work with. We were looking around for somebody to do a cover for us for a while, but the only people that we could find wanted a ridiculous amount of money. So, as time dragged on, I figured that I would just go buy some paints and brushes and do it myself... and that's where the name, "Cost of Impatience" comes from.

The album was recorded in August of 1999 yet wasn't released until August of 2000. Why the enormous delay in getting the EP released and who are the wankers involved in keeping it from being released?
Joe: Originally those 7 songs were to be used as one side of a split 12" with some Canadian band, Maharahj. Well it seemed as if they were never going to record their songs, so we decided just to use those songs for an EP and cancel the split. The EP became Exotic Sense Decay. The other main delays came from too asshole douchers who completely wasted our time by saying they would do the layout and design, but never did shit. Pisser #1, the piece of shit that he is, held on to all the stuff I sent him for the layout for several months and did nothing, nor did he have the decency to even write and say that he hadn't done any work on it. The asshole even said that he lost the print of the painting that I sent. He wouldn't respond to any e-mails or anything and the guy who runs Robodog Records finally was able to contact him by phone. Wanker #2, another piss cunt, pretty much mimicked the lazy behaviors of the first, even though he requested to do it! The reason I don't print their names is because each of them are in bands, one fairly well known and on a big flavor of the day label, and I don't want to give them the satisfaction of having their names printed. It all turned out for the best in the end I think, and Willowtip released the CD EP and Robodog released it on a 7" picture disc.

One thing that impressed me is that in the liner notes it mentions that the album was written and rehearsed less than five times in less than two weeks prior to being recorded. Why was so little time spent on the writing and rehearsing, and is this normal for your group, to write, rehearse and record in such a short span?
Joe: Yeah, Exotic Sense Decay was a total rush job. Actually, everything we've recorded so far [Starving The Vultures, Exotic Sense Decay and The Genocide Machine] have been written, practiced and recorded quickly. Our drummer, as I stated earlier, goes to school 5 hours away. The only time we can write songs is during summer break and a little bit during winter break. He comes home about once every 3 months for the rest of the year and we just try to stay smooth with what we have.

After reading through the bio and listening to the album countless times I was left with the impression that Circle Of Dead Children is a collaboration of five men with five different musical preferences, each bringing their own style to fit into the overall sound. Is it difficult writing music with so many varying opinions and style preferences? I would assume there would be a fair amount of compromise to keep all members happy and satisfied with the music being written. How often did you have to bitch slap your band mates into taking your side on a musical issue?
Joe: It's really not difficult for us at all. When we began we all talked about what we wanted and planned on using the different influences as a positive, not a negative. Everyone is pretty supportive of one another. I mean there is a sound we're shooting for, but it's broad and not fixated to any one genre type. The only time that we throw parts out or decide that we don't want to use a part is because it may ruin the flow of the song, not because "it's not brooootal enough, dude!"

I'm sure with the style of music you play that people have made a lot of comparisons and mis-labeled you on many occasions. How would you best describe the music of Circle Of Dead Children?
Joe: Yeah, I've read some comparisons where I've had to do a double or triple take. But hey, it's all opinions and tastes and even I can't say that they are wrong or right in their comparisons. I'm just happy that they took the time to listen. I guess I would describe us as free-thinking death/grind with a focus on freedom of song structure and development... or, anything-goes core.

Judging by the sheer aggressiveness of your music, one would assume your live performances must be incredibly insane, with necks snapping left and right. Are your shows as intense as I imagine, or are you as intense of a bowl of Jell-O on stage?
Joe: We all tend to hate playing on the stages and to be honest, I lose a ton of emotion up there. It just feels stupid being way above everyone else. We like to play on the floor, right down there with the fans. I've lost a ton of blood at shows, bitten people, got punched, dry-humped people, sat on people, broke a ton of mics, etc. I think shows shouldn't be such a pretty nice place and feeling. I remember seeing bands when I was very young and being fucking scared shitless at times that I wasn't going to make it out alive. That's what I like... that's what I would like to see come back. It's good when the crowd has a sense of awareness and knows that they have to stay on their toes. It's not about actually intentionally hurting anybody, but giving off the feeling of being unsure of what is coming next. People are paying to see you, so I think that you people should leave with some memories.

What is the scene like down in Pittsburgh? I don't think I've heard of too many metal groups from PA, and the ones I have heard suck, quite frankly.
Joe: Right now there isn't a whole lot going on, but I must say that there are a few really decent bands, but they tend to play more toward the hardcore crowd than the metal crowd. The two scenes are pretty divided here, and it's pathetic. There are some seriously decent bands that the metal crowd would really dig, but since they don't all look like your cookie-cutter metal bands, they don't get any attention. And then the hardcore-type kids only involvement in metal is going to shows to see the big-name bands. Fuck, it's music, you know? Just go and open up and experience some new shit and build from it... that's the way I see it.

I hear you've been shopping around for a new label and have garnered a fair amount of interest. Are you close to being signed to a larger label?
Joe: We're really close right now to move up to a new level. We've been in negotiations since August with a couple labels and I've been spending a lot of time gathering up the positives and negatives from each situation and then seeing where we sit in the middle of it all. I plan on finalizing our choice by December.

I was speaking to Leon of Impaled not long ago and asked him if he'd ever heard of Circle Of Dead Children. He said no, which is when I called him a gay retard and told him to get your music. What is your opinion of Impaled? I only ask this in hopes of starting some huge rivalry between your two groups. I don't know why, I just think it would be funny.
Joe: Haha! I thought Carcass were a good band too.

I've asked more than enough questions already. I'll let you wrap things up along with one final question: If you could drown any human being in their own feces, who would you chose to drown? Better yet, would you take pictures?
Joe: Myself with a digital camcorder set up on a tripod and broadcast live via the Internet. Thanks for the interview, bro! Best of luck with Teufel's Nipple.

[ Part 2 - March 2001 ]

It's been three months since I'd sent along the first set of questions and in that time a lot has happened with Circle Of Dead Children, so hopefully you can help fill us in on what's been happening. First of all, you've signed with Deathvomit Records. Why is it you chose to sign with them over other labels showing interest in your group?
Joe: Yeah, as you said, we decided to go with Necropolis/Deathvomit Records. They seemed to be a bit more in-tune with what we wanted right now as a band. I just sensed a good vibe with those guys from the start. They are picking up some crushing bands right now so we're really amped to be a part of it.

You've undergone a lot of personnel changes recently as well. Last I'd heard Jon and David left the group. Why'd they leave and who replaced them? Apart from Gene Simmons on bass and Elton John on piano, what is the current line-up for Circle Of Dead Children?
Joe: Those guys left for different reasons. With Dave, it was more of a quit or be thrown out. We just weren't feeling the bond with him strongly anymore and it seemed that his interests weren't directed to the band too much anymore. It was a bit sour at first, but things have cooled down now between he and us. We replaced Dave right away with Alfie, a guy who Jason and myself had been in prior bands with. He's a great bass player, has an awesome dedication and is seriously one sick ass poop-trick making bastard. It was hard for us to watch Jon go, as we all really liked him and appreciated his involvement with us. His musical interests had really gone a different direction and he wasn't "feeling it" anymore with this type of stuff. We still hang out with Jon and things are very cool between us all. We've tried out a couple of people for second guitar, but none have been adequate yet. For now we're moving along as a 4-piece.

Your new CD, The Genocide Machine, is being released on April 17th. How do you feel it compares with your previous releases... no... that's a stupid question... hmm... how do you feel it compares to Judas Priest's Breaking The Law?
Joe: Breaking The Law was a landmark in pure savage brutality and pagan hatred for mankind, so we don't even attempt to come close to such a sacred record. As far as how it compares to our previous releases, it's a bit more death metal in sound overall. That's just what happened. Not as many really short songs this time around. The Circle Of Dead Children sound is totally there, however, just the format has changed a little bit. We're all really happy with it. The vocals have gotten sicker and the drumming is all over the place.

What do members of the group do for a living, apart from squat outside porn theatres wearing pop bottle glasses begging for loose change so they can check out the peep shows?
Joe: Holy shit, you know about that? I'm an emotional support counselor for K-12 kids. Not sure how long that will last though... I love what I do and the kids are great, but the "professional" workplace just isn't for me. Jon is still in college 5 hours away in Philadelphia. Jason is out of college and spends his days finding the best free teen-porn sites on the net. Alf has worked more jobs than anyone I've known. He just doesn't give a shit about any of that stuff and he quits jobs all the time. Right now he's laid off and spends most of his time plotting sick ass poop-tricks and ways to get himself into the police-report of all the local newspapers.

I read on your site a short time ago that you guys were already working on new material. Have you been able to record anything new or are you still in the song writing process?
Joe: Well, since Jon is so far away, we rarely practice (every 3-4 months) and the only time we're able to record is in the summer. That's when we do all the writing and the recording. During his Christmas break we were able to write 8 new songs in 2 practices. That was great for us because now it takes some stress off us in the summer. We got an early jump on it this time.

I want shirts... tell a brutha how he can get his hands on some sweet Circle Of Dead Children merchandise.
Joe: You can get in line to suck my cock, for starters. And then you can hit up the website and keep abreast of what's for sale and how to get it. Girls who grace us with some breast shots get their choice of merch for free.

Will the group be embarking on a tour after the release of the new CD? Better yet, will you be attending the Ohio Death Fest in April? It'll probably be the only concert I may attend this year, and with Cock And Ball Torture and Vomit Remnants on the bill, it's almost a 'must-attend' event... all I'd need is for Circle Of Dead Children and my personal idol, Satan's God, to attend and it is a "must see" concert. Hell... I figure watching a grown man standing on stage by himself with a bass guitar punching himself in the scrotum repeatedly while screaming "I HATE MY COCK!" is reason enough to attend any social function. And that's just you... lord only knows what that cock-hater is capable of... last I heard he got tossed out of a fest after trying to stab himself in the penis with an ice-pick on stage.......
Joe: Yeah, we'll be going out towards the end of July and into August. I'm not sure how extensive it will be this time due to a lot of conflicts with work. I'm at a point in my life where I'm willing to quit my current job and take a less restrictive one in order to tour and focus more on our rock-n-roll. But some of us just can't do that right now, and that's understandable. As for Ohio Death Fest, I will most certainly be there again this year. I can't wait to see Cock And Ball Torture as well! Vomit Remnants were great the last time they played. That kid who does Satan's God is fucked. It should be mandatory for him to play every fest. I just totally can't understand the cock-hate. He should do some spoken word performances about where his hatred for the cock comes from.

We already had a dramatic ending with the last batch of interview questions, so I'll just simply ask one final question that's hopefully not too stupid. How does it feel to be a full-fledged major-label signed rock star?
Joe: I don't have the time to answer this question right now; can you please leave it with my press agent? Maybe we can hook up at the Necropolis Yacht Club this summer to talk about things... I'll bring the caviar; you bring Satan's God.