Teufel: You guys have had a lot go on the past few weeks with the whole incident involving Australian customs officials. Express to me in your best words how this went down? I'm assuming it was probably 5am while you were fast asleep that they decided to storm the place. Cowardly bastards!
Ricey: Ok then, our latest CD, Avagoyamugs, was released by the sick and insane Razorback Records. We were waiting for our 200 Intense Hammer Rage CDs that Razorback sent airmail (freaking out because our CDs were a month late!!!) thinking that the package went missing we were wondering "what the fuck?". Little did we fuckin' know, the Burnie Customs intercepted our CDs and were planning to raid my house, because of the nature of our lyrics. I guess they were thinking I had a kiddie porno ring going on or fuckin' something. So at 7 in the morning (you were close!!!) I had a loud persistent knock on the door, thinking "who in the fuck was this cunt?". I opened the door to find custom officials with search warrants, police, forensics, and god knows who else barging there way in!!! I didn't know what the fuck was going on! Being that early in the morning and without a strong coffee, or beer, I was like "huh, who the fuck are you cunts again?". (laughs) Anyway, they searched the whole house for about 3 hours and all they found was some CDs they felt were too offensive and some paperwork that basically links us with Razorback Records and shit for evidence and a buttslapping mag! They must have been so fucking disappointed. So while I was escorted to the cop shop Chris was being raided and they took heaps of band shit like lyrics, artwork, and even his computer. Unfortunately they also found a shitload of pot, bongs and stuff. Last up they raided A.B.'s house and took 7 years of band stuff. They fuckin' took all of it! Everything from lyrics, artwork, photos, posters and heaps of shit. Again they took pot and bongs and shit. We all were escorted to the police station to do a video interview and statements and bollocks. At the moment we are waiting to be charged by the police and I'm also gonna be charged by customs (because the Avagoyamugs CD were addressed to me). So our CDs are banned in Australia. How fucked, aye?

Did you go into berserker mode and go at any of them a whirlwind of fists of elbows?
Ricey: Yea, I did, they cried out "No, No, No!!!" but all I wanted was cake! They all want cake!!!! (laughs)

I think the most important question to ask is; what CDs did they confiscate? Please tell me it was nothing cool...
Ricey: Well, they took all the Intense Hammer Rage CDs, including Devogrindporngorecoreaphile and Gory B CDs. Out of my personal collection they took Last Days Of Humanity CDs and Cock And Ball Torture CDs (because they mention pedophile or bestiality references) and they also took CDs and vinyl from Slut Kunting Whore Distro. So fuck man, what can I say? It's fucked up shit!

What the fuck? They took Last Days Of Humanity and Cock And Ball Torture CDs? BLASPHEMY! What is the most shameful disc that they confiscated which you hope you never get back?
Ricey: Oh definitely my Slim Dusty CD, man! With classic songs A Pub With No Beer and I'm Gunna Ava Beer With Duncan (Cause Duncan's My Mate) and shit. But they fuckin' took it from me because of the underlying pedophile references and apparently it sends skitzos like me into mad, uncontrollable fits of extreme violence! I never want this disc back again. I am way too ashamed of the graphic violence it depicts! (laughs)

Whose place did they raid, or do all three of you share the same place?
Ricey: We all live in separately in our own houses. It would be rather fuckin' gay if we shared the one house. But anyway, they raided all 3 of our houses, the fuckin' cunts.

I know one thing comes to mind when I see three men living together... gay lovers. Pedophile is second only to that, even then I tend to think they're gay pedophiles... anyway, what did they confiscate in their raid and what were they hoping to find? Did they find anything incriminating like the bloodstained panties of an eight-year-old?
Ricey: Fuck, I don't know, I guess they were expecting to find pedophile photos, videos and maybe a 7 year old kid molested and locked in a fuckin' cupboard or something ridiculous. All they found was my cumstained silk panties, and a "How To Wank Like A Pro Instruction Manual For Beginners."

What do your parents', friends and coworkers think of this whole situation? Are they supportive or have they been pointing their fingers saying "I knew you were sick people all along. I hope you burn in hell, sinners!"?
Ricey: Well man, after some of the full on fuckin' articles in the newspapers and shit linking us with pedophile lyrics and shit, I was definitely concerned with the general reaction. Surprisingly though, everyone's been really fuckin' cool about it and think that it sucks that we've been singled out as sickos. Everyone who knows us, whether its family or friends or whatever, know us as fuckin' mellow, normal drug smokin' yobbo cunts who are dedicated in the arts of playing brutal and extreme grind! If anyone thinks differently, then you're fucked!

Since the incident how many bands and fans have offered their support, or is the general consensus "you sick fucking bastards deserved it"?
Ricey: The amount of people who have written or e-mailed us saying that they totally support us is fuckin' amazing. No one has written to use to have whinge. The support everyone has shown means a fuckin' lot. It goes to show how fuckin' excellent the extreme underground scene is! Everyone seems to wanna support and help each other out, rather than bad mouth each other and carry on like faggots! The underground rules like fuck!

About two months ago I was hanging out in Chicago with a few friends of mine (namely the infamous Leif Andersson and Ember guitarist/drummer Abbas Jaffary) and they were discussing, well, I had no part in it because their intellect crushes mine, I feel like a three year old with ADD around them having consumed no knowledge in my lifetime, anyway... they were discussing what the next big "shock" in underground metal would be. The general consensus was that the next big "shocker" would be pedophile metal, bands with lyrics that deal with basically nothing but child molestation. Then back in February I was talking to Billy Nocera and he said, and I quote "I think you're gonna dig this IHR CD, it's god damn fucked up! I don't even know how to describe it, it's definitely NOT normal goregrind or brutal death or whatever, it's just whacked out Aussie freak shit. The lyrics and song titles are gonna put us in fuckin' jail I think, pretty nasty stuff." The only question I have for you is; with this knowledge do you now believe that Billy, Abbas and Leif have supernatural powers and should either be exploited or stoned to death?
Ricey: I've suspected their uncanny supernatural powers for quite a while now. Your questions now confirm their superhero powers, but will they use it for good or evil? If they use it for the good of mankind, I think the only option is to stone 'em to death. If not then let's get 'em stoned to death?!?!?!?! (laughs) Long live pot!

Uhh... right.... I was talking to Leif and he lived in Australia for a year or so and he told me something very bizarre and interesting. Is it true that Australian officials attempted combating the countries problem with heroin by opening up parks for junkies to shoot up in with clean needles without being arrested, but that they also found that in the summer these same junkies would pass out from exhaustion so to combat that problem the Australian government built air conditioned centres for them to shoot up in without fear of prosecution instead? If this is true please remind me to avoid going to that stupid fucked up country or I swear I'd go insane from the stupidity. Any country that would let junkies roam free yet locks up hard working entertainers is a country that doesn't deserve to be visited.
Ricey: I'm sorry bro, but it's fuckin' true! It's a fucked country. Don't come here unless you're a junkie. There are some seriously fucked up laws over here, but it is actually a pretty cool place to live. There's not too much crime, and if you don't work out you get unemployment benefits, and if you get caught with pot, you just get a warning. Also, Australia invented the 4 litre wine cask, and that's a fuckin' life force for me! But yea, the fuckin' fuss made about us goregrinders is pretty fucked up when junkies and shit are encouraged, or so it seems.

Will your next album be entitled "Molesting The Children Of Customs Officials"? If not can I use the title? I'm thinking of making a tribute to IHR with songs involving nothing but the murder and molestation of customs officials' children around the world.
Ricey: (laughs) That's a fuckin ripsnorter of an album title! You're a fuckin' genius! It would be humorous as fuck to use that title, but we would never be able to sell another CD in Australia again! Actually, our next mini-CD that will be out on Life Fluid Productions will be entitled The Ex-Philes. We are moving on and writing about other sick subjects. I think we have had enough of writing about pedophilia and shit. Don't worry you hardcore perverts, we will still be sick and offensive!

Hold on... another staff member has a question for you...
Angry Norse: Regarding the lyrics to The Third Of Five To Have Her Alive, how in the hell do you get a cock to pop through a nine-year old's flat chest? Not that I've been trying and I can't do it or anything, I just can't picture it in my head. Oh, wait - I can, rather vividly so... but still - any hints?
Teufel: You are a sick and lonely man... please move to a different country where there is a higher percentage of people to reindeer than Norway. Sorry about that, I gave him one question to ask and he jabbers on like a total retard... but anyway... seriously though... how DO you do it?
A.B.: Well, umm... The Third Of Five? Okay, well guys, it's like this. In the July 1997 issue of Australian Playboy (with Emma Harrison, of ex-Neighbours fame) there's a depiction of Ken and Barbie shagging in a position known as "The Tree Trunk" (or more humorously, as I found in Anne Hoopers Kama Sutra "The Fitter-In"). So being adventurous by nature, I tried it out with my willing (consenting, and of legal age, I might add!) girlfriend. During the act, she leans back until I think I might snap and she squeals "fuck, put your hand here, check this shit out!" Lo and behold, with my hand above her pubic mound (no pubes, but...) I could feel my knob trying to burst free like some alien cystoid, and, be fucked! I could see it too! (No shit, try it out!) So, I instantly, thought the obvious, "what if she was a petite 9 year old girly-thing, and I had a knob the size of a really, really big baby's arm? Pop!!! Right? Maybe even through her flat chest?
Ricey: There ya go, we now know A.B.'s girlfriend has a shaven muff! And A.B. can't be too experienced if he got that old classic from a book, huh?

Hold on, I'm still writing that one down... I mean... uhhh... no! I am very experienced in the procreation pony ride. Ahem... moving on... At the end of the final song of Avagoyamugs, The Art Of Fucking Children (Pedophile In Practice), there is an excerpt from South Park with a pedophile trying to claim he's being persecuted for being different, yet the South Park kids reply by basically saying pedophilia is gay and it shouldn't be tolerated, followed by sounds of torture from some movie or something. I, being a somewhat intelligent person on most days of sobriety (which are few and far between, trust me), took that more or less as your way of saying "We're kidding, we don't seriously go around fucking babies and we think it's sick and stupid. Anyone who thinks it's cool deserves to die." Or am I wrong and you guys really are that sick and retarded?
Ricey: Ok, Teufel, I'm gonna get serious and quite in depth with this answer. First off, I have an 8-year-old son that I am in contact with on a regular basis and my girlfriend has two kids. If anyone comes near or touches these kids in a violating way, I would personally beat the livin' shit out of them. If anyone out there accuses me of not knowing what its like to have kids and read our lyrics, think again. We (Intense Hammer Rage) have got some of the most extreme shocking lyrics ever written, but we also play some of the most extreme music ever written. This goes hand in hand. It would be fuckin' stupid to have an extreme-as-fuck death/grind band writing poop music lyrics and equally stupid is to have a pop band writing pathological gore lyrics. It doesn't mix. Therefore, we are gonna write extreme lyrics, but everything extreme has been done in one way or another, so we took a huge risk and wrote some lyrics on topics so taboo that even the most extreme-as-fuck band haven't touched. The topic is pedophilia and violence towards women and children. The lyrics we have written has caused quite a stir, I must say. the reason that pedophiles are such a taboo subject is that they (pedophiles) are the most perverse, putrid and fuckin' sick cunts out there. They might even be someone you know and least expect, it could be your neighbour, your local fuckin' priest or even your dad! In fact, the most likely person to get away with it will be a role model figure in your community, and they get away with it by buying (or threatening) your silence for you to forget. So, people, if we forget and ignore that these unspeakable, vile acts happen we are letting 'em get away with it, don't ya think? So, fair enough, we have shocked some people by our full on in-your-face extreme lyrics, but they also make you think and it forces you to react! It's better to react to some topic you are offended by than fuckin' ignore the harsh realities of life. By accepting and realizing these perverted acts happen, we have a better chance of preventing it. Of fuckin' course we don't condone pedophilia and violence towards women and children. For fuck sake, we aren't the sick cunts, we are authors who describe the actions of the extreme perverted realities that happen all the time. Watch the news and current affairs shows, read the newspapers, read books, there's sick shit there that defies logic. I have read books purchased from bookstores that have so much fuckin' profanity and perverseness and totally suck shit in it they almost make our lyrics seem tame. Apparently that's okay, but a fuckin' dedicated death/grind act who is trying to make a name for themselves in a tiny fuckin' underground scene is a fuckin' crime! I mean, fuck, how many people would read a book about Jeffrey Dahmer and think "fuck the author was a sick cunt"??? So why do people assume we, in Intense Hammer Rage, are sick? What's the difference?

Good point... I think. I was able to recognize most of the sound clips and honestly thought it was probably the best use of clips I've heard on any CD. Where the hell did you get the sample from the intro to I'd Rather Be Retarded? That sample is fucking hilarious.
Ricey: Yea, it's a funny fuckin' sample. We got it from "Strangers With Candy". It's a US comedy done by the makers of South Park. I'm quite sure you've heard of it.

I live in a town with only one movie theatre. The movies they play have generally been out in the rest of North America for 5-6 weeks. "Strangers With Candy" should be playing here sometime next year. Tell me seriously now... what the fuck was the reasoning behind that artwork? Leon del Muerte of Impaled thought it was so terrible that he refused to have his name associated to the disc even though he did the final layout... well, that and he thought he did a shit job, which he did, but anyway...
Ricey: Oh deary fuckin' me. Are you, Teufel and Leon del Muerte, the biggest and shameless faggots in the whole fuckin' world? How dare you cunts bag off the gore-riffic efforts behind the "mastermuthafuckinpiece" of artwork known simply as Avagoyamugs? I don't shamefully refuse to put my name to the credit of creating this fuckin' gore-rate piece of insane artwork. Seriously, I find your and Leon's comments strange because you freaks are the only people, so far, to not like the cover artwork. Everyone who has fuckin' written to us have loved the artwork and the layout so...??? Would you prefer if we got yet another blurry gore pic off the internet and used that instead, like billions of other bands? Huh???

I personally thought the artwork looked like it was drawn by a deranged 8 year old with homicidal tendencies and ADD, but that's just me. I don't understand Leon not liking it, considering the cover art he's done mostly consists of dead bodies with organs falling out of new orifices and other gory shit like that. Beat him up, not me, he's the one with the lisp. Anyway... the only two bands in Australia I think are truly deserving of a raid and beatings with nightsticks are Mortification and T666. Please feel free to talk shit about both of those stupid bands. Isn't it true that T666 is considered by all to be the biggest joke in the Australian metal scene? David (T666) once told me they were going to be signed by Sony Music and tour with Fear Factory and Deicide. (laughs)
Ricey: Well man, I haven't heard of T666, but I've no doubt they are faggots who deserve a good poofter bashing! And as for Mortification, yea... they're a bit of a fuckin' lost cause, but I won't waste too much energy baggin' on them.

The fact you haven't even heard of them just makes me laugh harder. The metal scene in Australia seems to have a ton of great acts. How strong is the scene down under in your opinion?
Ricey: It seems to be quite good at the moment. There definitely is a lot of new and very brutal death/grind puking up all over the place! It's fucking great to see. A few bands I wanna plug are Omnium Gatherum, Miscreation, Volatile, Psycroptic, M.S.I., Butchered Cunt, Fuck... I'm Dead!, Excruciate, Filthy Maggot Cunt and Captain Cleanoff.

Completely off-topic, did any of you attend any of the Olympic goings-on last year and what is your overall impression of the entire event?
Ricey: No man, it was all a fuckin' joke! It was bad enough being on TV. The way everyone carried on like fuckin' pork chops was an embarrassment. We Aussies aren't normally like that!!! We are pot bellied, beer drinking, loud mouthed, Sheila rooting yobbo cunts.

After everything is said and done, what's the likelihood any charges will be laid against you and is there any serious possibility that you may end up fined or jailed because of it? It doesn't look like any of you skinny boys could handle prison... I suggest finding a sugar daddy early...
Ricey: We will most definitely get charged and fined. The maximum sentence is 12 months in jail, but, fortunately, that will be very unlikely, so rest assured our assholes will be used only for the purpose of shitting, as our rectal passages were designed for!!!

I only have a few stupid questions remaining, so try to remain calm. What are you guys going to do now? Have we heard the end of Intense Hammer Rage or has your trail of terror only just begun? Just as important as that, will you be getting t-shirts printed soon? People will want anti-customs officials t-shirts soon!
Ricey: Well, apart from smoking and drinking too much and wearing out the skin of our fucklogs on tight fitting vaginal walls, we have nearly finished writing all new songs for our upcoming mini CD mentioned earlier. We are also planning heaps of gigs for the near future. Chris and me are also starting a webzine/printed fanzine soon, so that will take up a bit of time. As for t-shirts, Mike from Flesh Feast Productions (Spain) is printing two designs of Intense Hammer Rage shirts, and also re-releasing Gory B with new artwork and layout and our Massive Sphinta Release demo as a bonus at the end of the CD. These projects should be available any time now, so get in contact with Mike. As for anti-customs officials t-shirt, if there's any label out there wanting to print 'em, we will be all too willing to design 'em! Intense Hammer Rage are more brutal than ever and, yea, the fuckin' trail of terror has only just begun. I really want to fuckin' thank everyone who has stayed true and supported us. I want to thank you, Teufel, for the cool interview and your support and kind words toward IHR is fucking much appreciated ya cunt! (laughs) Anyone who wants to talk grind with us or want to send promo material to be reviewed (and possibly interviewed) for our zine, please write to Ricey at: 6 Devon Street - Burnie 7320 - Tasmania, Australia, or e-mail Chris at; Chris_IHR@hotmail.com!