Teufel: I would start off by asking you a typical question about your band's history, but those kinds of questions are asked by total fucking morons. Anyone who does not know who Last Days Of Humanity are and what you're all about are not worthy to know who you are and what you're all about. That said, I'll ask a different stupid question. What have you silly bastards been up to since the release of Hymns...? When will the new full length be available? So far all I know is you guys have released splits with Cock And Ball Torture and Stoma, both of which are fucking incredible, by the way.
Marc: Hey Teufel, thank you for letting me answering your questions. Since the release of Hymns... we have done a lot gigs with a lot of gore-grind bands. We also kicked out some band members and replaced them. The new full-length will be available at the end of this year or maybe in the beginning of next year. We are busy writing new songs. There will be about 30 songs on the third full-length. We have indeed released a split with Cock And Ball Torture on Fleshfeast Records. These songs were recorded a long time ago. The split with Stoma we have released ourselves on Through The Eyes Of The Hated Records, just to make a lot of money so we can quit working. The next release will be a 4-way split CD with Rompprop (ex-Smegma), Plasma, Urine Festival (gore-noise band from me and Erwin with a lot of porn) and maybe Cock And Ball Torture. Also a really nasty release will be a split mCD Urine Festival/Dysmenorrheic Haemorrhage. E-Mail me for more info.

One of the more recent recordings I've heard from you guys is the track you did for the Impetigo tribute released on Razorback Records. Why did you choose to cover Revenge Of The Scabby Man, and when was that song recorded?
Marc: I didn't choose to record that song, I think Erwin did. The song is recorded somewhere in 2000 I think, in Belgium. We also recorded a split with Sanitys Dawn at the same recording sessions. First of all these recordings would be released as a split CD with the Brazilian guys from Gore, but these guys never replied anymore. Last time I heard something from Robot was that he was threatening to come over to Holland to finish off our bass player. What a prick he is.

Speaking of Razorback, I'm sure you've heard about Intense Hammer Rage being raided by Australian police and customs because customs officials found, and confiscated a shipment of their discs being sent into the country which depicted "a man having sex with a naked, apparently rotten, headless female." What is your overall impression of this act of paranoia by Australian customs officials?
Marc: I don't care honestly. These things also happened to Utopie. I like IHR very much, but they use drawings as pictures, what's wrong with this?

How does it make you feel knowing that during the raid Australian customs officials also confiscated the band members' personal copies of Cock And Ball Torture and Last Days Of Humanity CDs?
Marc: Simply ridiculous! Fuck them in Australia. I was planning to go on vacation in Australia, but no way!

Finally... the truth comes out. I'm seriously contemplating releasing Molesting The Children Of Customs Officials in tribute to Intense Hammer Rage and their problems with customs, as well as problems all underground bands have had with customs officials all over the world. Would you brutal bastards of Last Days be willing to vomit forth a contribution for this release should I ever decide to make it a reality?
Marc: Hmm... their songs are too complicated for us to cover, but maybe Gore from Brazil wants to contribute. They are my personal heroes at this moment.

Actually it's not covering their songs, just an anti-Customs Officials compilation disc, but anyway... Different bands take different amounts of time to write and record a CD. I know some bands take years to write the music for an album and 3 months to record it, whereas others spend 2 weeks writing the music and 2 days to record. How long is the writing process for an average Last Days Of Humanity album and how long do you usually spend in studios recording?
Marc: Hmm... I think we will write the new album in a half year. About 30 songs, sometimes one minute and sometimes 10 seconds. We will go in the studios for about ten days! Hymns... we recorded, mixed and mastered in 4 days.

I realize the support for extreme metal in Holland is probably not as strong as the rest of Europe, but what is your overall impression of the Dutch scene and Holland-based death metal groups, such as Sinister, God Dethroned, Consolation, Severe Torture and Nembrionic?
Marc: I am not really fond of these bands, except for Severe Torture. I prefer real Holland gore-grind like Tumour, S.M.E.S, Stoma, Lifesick, Slokdarm Poep, Rompprop, Infected Entrails, Hippie Blood Bastards, Carnival Of Carnage, Intumescence. Necrofetisism, Trauma Team and some kind of shitty gore-noise-porn-grind band called Urine Festival...

I've never even heard of any of those bands. I'm such an incredible poseur, I feel ashamed. You guys have easily the most retarded lyrics of all time. If I'm not mistaken, and I'm never mistaken so don't dare talk back or you'll be tasting the back of my hand, but aren't the lyrics to all of the tracks, at least on Hymns..., simply the song titles repeated over and over with Bart occasionally throwing in a "fucking" once in a while?
Marc: I really don't know! We kicked Bart out of Last Days Of Humanity so I don't know. I don't think he was repeating "fucking". He more was singing in French over and over. Our new band member Erwin (S.M.E.S) and me are the new singers. Erwin does the low vocals, I do the bubbly vocals.

I don't want you think I'm criticizing, because I personally think it's hilarious and awesome that the lyrics are so ridiculously simple. The last band I was in I did a similar grunt and my lyrics were just the words "pee, poo, bum and dinky" gurgled at different speeds and in different orders. Anyway... is your lyrical laziness due to your overabundance of mass alcohol consumption, or the chain-smoking of the fine herbery found throughout the red light district?
Marc: Well, well, well... you are well informed about the fact that we have a some kind of laziness in lyrics. And all the speed, cocaine and marihuana we indeed found throughout the Red Light District in Amsterdam.

You live in what can easily be described as one of the most open and uninhibited countries in the world. I still can't get over the hookers in the window and legal prostitution... I'm actually thankful they don't have that in this country, especially in this town... well... unless you're into fat women with no teeth... What's the most ridiculously insane thing you've seen anyone do in that fucked up country of yours?
Marc: Definitely a gig from Last Days of Humanity... No, I think it was a live porn show or that coprophiliac act somewhere in this country. No, it was that show from gay worshippers Stoma. What these guys do on stage... the horror... Oh sorry, Fedde (391)

Do you ever frequent the clubs and pubs with the stage show by the infamous shit eaters?
Marc: Yep, we did several gigs with Stoma. And that says enough... (of niet, Fedde).

Enough of that silliness... and disgustingness... umm... what is the best metal show you've attended as a fan, and what was the best metal gig you've ever played?
Marc: The best metal show was of course Stoma playing and rehearsing in their van. The best gig I played was at Fuck The Commerce.

Was the closing act the shit eater? Okay... okay... never mind about the shiteater, I really don't want to know... anyway... It's obvious you guys are big fans of Carcass, I mean, what gorefiend in their right mind doesn't pop a boner every time they hear Corporeal Jigsore Quandary or Pungent Excruciation? What is your impression of Deathvomit's tribute to Carcass and do you feel that Last Days Of Humanity could have done an even better cover than any of the other bands on the CD?
Marc: I think the tribute to Carcass is a good step for Deathvomit Records. They released finally a CD that I like. I don't think that we had done an even better cover, so I really don't care. The best songs for me are the Dead Infection, Regurgitate and Disgorge ones.

If you fucked a fat chick, would you dare tell any of your bandmates, or would you hang your head in shame and hope no one found out? Keep in mind I already know you did, I have pictures... actually, I don't, but I just want to see if I can get the goods on you and humiliate you publicly.
Marc: Alright, I have some tasty pictures of you and your friend. I think I had it from the singer of Stoma. He gave me them because he had some new pictures so he gave me the old ones from you, but I immediately gave that pictures to the bass player of Stoma. He was surprised...

Remind me to stick my ass in your face, light a match and release the gases from my buttocks should I ever meet you in person. What is the band's current line-up? I'm sure before the end of this sentence there'll be at least two line-up changes, which brings me to another question, why do you guys have such a hard time keeping members? Do you not bathe and other people find this disgusting?
Marc: Nice one Teufel! I think it's because of Erwin who's still in LDOH....

Many people have asked me this, and I honestly have no clue, so I'll ask you directly, where can people pick up Last Days Of Humanity merchandise (t-shirts, etc) and what is available, and how much, damnit?
Marc: Good question. We have t-shirts at Bones Brigade and CDs! The split EP with CBT is on Fleshfeast Records and me. The split with Morgue is on Evil Biker Records and me. The split with Stoma I released. See for the address (on) the Hymns Of.... CD. New shirts will be on Bones Brigade and I heard, as far as maybe they are rumors, that someone is going to print a t-shirt from the split with CBT. The prizes are as high as possible, because we want to be as rich as Guns n' Roses, Metallica, Gore and Intestinal Disgorge.

That's all I can think of right now. You can insert final comments if you want, or just tell me to fuck off... I don't care, I lost interest in talking to you after I said hello.
Marc: You are a funny guy Teufel, maybe we can date sometime in the near future? Stay sick, baby.