Putrescence announce line-up changes

Winnipeg death grind maniacs’ Putrescence announce the sudden departure of guitar player Colostomy Bag Darrell from the band.

“Bag Darrell has decided to pursue a degree as a Mortuary science student at the Gary University of Funeral Service Education in Indiana,” commented Teufel’s Tomb scribe and Putrescence vocalist Soiled Depends while enjoying the twisting fumes of a Black Snake firecracker celebrating July 4th in his back yard. “It turns out that he thinks he’ll be even more brutal in life without our band holding him back. I think it’s a bunch of bullshit. We’ve sang about a million more corpses that he’ll ever get to embalm. We’re accredited in death metal and Fulci movies; he’s going to be accredited in washing a hearse. It’s fuck all, really. Maybe there is hope for us here…or maybe we are just going mad.”

“I got tired of being a shitty bar metal band,” replied Bag Darrell when tracked down for comment at his new residence in Englewood, Chicago. “Opening up for Drowning Pool and Exhumed were a couple of boner moves for sure and now it just never stops. They seem to love it; the parties, driving fast, getting wild, but you know I need to think about me before I end up getting angrily stomped to death or something”. Bag Darrell plans to complete his studies in 4 years and looks forward to cremating the members of Putrescence one day. “You tell people the truth: I didn’t get kicked out, I left. I’m gone, just like the frigid snows of yesteryear.”

While the news may come as a shock to fans worldwide, Soiled Depends is pleased to announce that things are moving ahead with the band.

“We got this guy that people in the band are excited about. Grimmgore called me from the Camen Islands to tell me about it yesterday. His name is “Snake J. Danger Terror”. Apparently he doesn’t frighten easily and from what I hear he has absolutely no faith in anything. We’ve been using his gear for the last four years and I don’t seem to have a terrible feeling about the bands’ sound changing at all.”

Be on the lookout for the re-vamped Putrescence who will soon be announcing a brief string of Eastern Canadian tour dates.

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