So you think you’re a true metalhead, huh? I bet you didn’t know who Cadaver was until Cadaver Inc signed to Earache. I bet you never even heard of the Earache sub-label Necrosis before, did you? Of course you’ll say "Yes, I knew who Cadaver were, I have all of their CDs, I was sitting there in the front row of their last gig thrashing my ass off and raising the goat horns the whole time." Fuck you! You didn’t know who Cadaver was, just like you didn’t know who Carnage was until Earache came around and told you who they were in their recent press releases shortly before re-releasing Dark Recollections. You didn’t even know that Necrosis was Bill Steer’s sub label until I just told you. If you dare tell me otherwise I’ll fucking punch you, you lying sack of shit. Neither band has anything to do with each other apart from Anders Odden was the brainchild of Cadaver and is the main music writer for Cadaver Inc. I know idiots in wanna-bezines will compare the two even though they never even heard Cadaver, because they want to sound true and elite, but I can guarantee 99.9% of people who compare the two bands have never even heard the original. Anyway… I know people reading this are probably now wondering "Who the fuck is Anders Odden?" All you need to know is he prefers being referred to as Neddo (Odden backwards, so evilishly clever this one), and played on the most horrid black metal releases of 1999 and 2000; Satyricon’s Rebel Extravaganza and Mayhem’s A Grand Declaration Of War. According to the label’s bio the band also features ex-Dimmu Borgir drummer Czral, Aura Noir/Dødheimsgard vocalist Apollyon and ex-Hydrhydr bassist LJ Balvaz and includes guest appearances by Darkthrone’s Fenriz and Faust (ex-Emperor). Any of you who even have the slightest amount of a clue about anything would realize that Czral, better known as Aggressor, only filled in for a few shows of a Dimmu Borgir tour and his REAL musical resume is long and impressive: he founded Satyricon, Ved Buens Ende, Aura Noir and Infernö and also played drums for Dødheimsgard. Whoever wrote the press release for this band is obviously very lazy and figured tossing in a big name band sounded better than mentioning he founded Satyricon and played in many other bands. If you read any review mentioning Czral as a former drummer for Dimmu Borgir, ignore the article, they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. Anyway… according to the press release this is an "all star line up", but that means nothing to me. You could put all of my favorite musicians together and get them to record a reggae album and it doesn’t mean I’ll buy it or like it. Just look at Witchery and Six Feet Under, they’re "all-star" line-ups and completely suck. Cadaver Inc offer up 39 minutes of old school Norwegian black thrash which will easily draw comparisons to Darkthrone, Burzum and the like. The first time I listened to Discipline, the thought that kept going through my mind is "What a horrifically unoriginal lump of shit this is… do I really need to bother listening to this album again and again to review it?" Given a few more listens the album slowly began to grow on me and I started to open up and notice a few things I hadn’t seen before. On the surface it seems like your run of the mill generic blasting black metal, however if you give the band a chance you quickly begin to realize that there’s a lot more to the band that simple blast beats and screams, there is… *gasp* rhythm. The album opens up with "Primal" which is simply a pummeling track with the blasts going off like a machine gun downing all in it’s path. "Deliverance" then hits you like a SWAT team kicking your door in while you’re standing right in front of the door undoing the lock to go out on a morning jog. You start out standing there whistling a happy tune then BOOM, you’re on the ground looking for your teeth while you’re getting handcuffed. "Murderhead", "Rupture" and "Die Like This" then kick in and drone on for a while, like in-laws. You can just hardly wait until they shut up and leave. Relief comes in the form of "Point Zero", a slower paced track with a good rhythm to nod to, the type of thing you’d listen to with a dead body wrapped in a garbage bag in your trunk feeling like Tony Soprano. "Killtech" then kills the mood like your mom walking in on you while you’re watching a porn flick. "Reptile Robots" screech past without much excitement, until you’re drop kicked by "Manic" out the window through the hood of a parked car with an odd-paced groove-black track. "Snapper Organs" is unmemorable, but the title track has a catchy rhythm that makes you feel like you’re sitting in a barber shop getting a quick trim, when before you know it the straight edge blade is being sliced across your throat, leaving you gasping and choking to death on your own blood. Most of the imagery I’ve alluded to in this review comes from the band’s website, which is actually being investigated by the Norwegian parliament. The website basically displays Cadaver Incorporated as being a Mafia-type organization where you can order assassinations online, and is honestly the most clever and interesting website I’ve ever seen. I damn myself for having not thought of something that clever sooner. In all honesty Cadaver Inc are more than just your typical blasting black metal band, and they don’t sound like Mayhem, Satyricon or the majority of the other groups these guys have been playing in the past several years. None of the songs are classics, but there is some solid material to be found here. Don’t be fooled by the image or the press releases listen to it yourself and you may be surprised with what you find… a bullet hole right between your eyes. Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself. I need to stop writing reviews right after watching The Sopranos…

Review byTeufel