Catheter had quite the job to accomplish. With the death metal and grind scenes chock-full of nasty band titles, varying from types of diseases, to feminine products, to obscene and nasty ways to die, nothing makes a man shrivel (both literally and figuratively) as the thought of a catheter. If you are not aware of what a catheter is, here is a brief synopsis on how to insert a catheter, as taken verbatim from a medical website ("my notes are in italics"):

HOW TO INSERT A CATHETER (MEN):

1. Assemble all equipment: catheter, lubricant, sterile gloves, cleaning supplies, syringe with water to inflate the balloon, drainage receptacle. ("and possibly a towel to bite on or a handball to squeeze - that ain’t no fuckin’ party balloon either!").

2. Wash your hands. Use betadine or similar cleansing product (unless instructed otherwise) to clean the urethral opening ("So don’t drop a deuce, not wash your hands and then do this - doctors will wonder why there are remnants of feces in your urinary tract").

3. Apply the sterile gloves. Make sure you do not touch the outside of the gloves with your hands ("Resist temptation to masturbate at this point").

4. Lubricate the catheter ("Very important - never go in dry!")

5. Hold the penis on the sides, perpendicular to the body. Stretch the penis away from the body ("Again, resist temptation to masturbate at this point. This stretching will not give you more length").

6. Begin to gently insert and advance the catheter ("Emphasis on gently - and don’t get your ex-girlfriend to help").

7. You will meet resistance when you reach the level of the external sphincter. Try to relax by deep breathing, and continue to advance the catheter ("Somehow, deep breathing just doesn’t cut it - maybe a few shots might help").

8. Once the urine flow starts, continue to advance the catheter to the level of the "Y" connector. Hold the catheter in place while you inflate the balloon. Some men have developed urethral injuries due to the balloon being inflated in the urethra. Care must be taken to ensure the catheter is in the bladder. You may try to irrigate the catheter with a few ounces of sterile water. If the solution does not easily return, you may not have the catheter far enough in the bladder. ("Don’t fuck up your party balloon!")

9. Secure the catheter and attach the drainage bag ("When finished with drainage bag, place it in a soap dispenser at a local restaurant. Not many people will find it funny, but you will. I heard urine has some medicinal value. Aren’t you supposed to piss on your feet to get rid of athlete’s foot? If not, I feel quite weird yet surprisingly warm. I heard Jorge Posada of the NY Yankees pees on his hands to make them more callous. Invent your own uses for urine!")

So what is this job I speak of for Catheter? Well, their music should rival their band name, a most horrifying thought. And with the utmost brutality, Catheter comes through, saturating the scene with moist grind that is as intense as it is horrifying. Certain types of grind never appealed to me all that much, but the type displayed by Catheter is most enjoyable. Grind has to be extremely intense, fast-paced, and a good mix of straight grind and groove. Catheter is able to do all of these things on their new release.

Bands like Sanity’s Dawn and Nasum always appealed to me because of their ability to create coherent grind, with understandable riffs and an uncanny ability to combine speed and groove. Catheter accomplished this on the album with a bit different sound. Firstly, the production is excellent. It has such a thick and meaty sound that it increases the overall ferocity of the album tenfold. Production like this reminds me of bands like Imperial Sodomy and Inhume, with a focus on beefy and stand-in-the-middle-of-a-fire sounding guitars and bass, heavy and pounding drums, and various types of vocals. In addition, one can hear the early to mid era Napalm Death sensibilities with a crustier edge. Catheter also displays various slower riffs with a southern accent, with riffs that would fit on a Soilent Green or Iron Monkey disc.

Catheter define straight grind sans other labels such as gore-grind or grind-core. It is straight violence all the way through, with nods to the originators of this sound and newer influences. If you are going to shower your ears with grind, might as well make it a golden one!

Written By: Double Ds