When someone mentions Cephalic Carnage, my mind always visualizes the painting "Guernica" as an audio manifestation. They play intense grind that is both technical, bizarre, and hits every metal style (and then some) all the while coming straight back to their grind origins. Anal Blast… I have no idea what comes to mind there. All I ever can imagine is a really bad scat porn shoot with a yeast infected, emaciated crack whore and Don Decker directing while screaming, "Get in there and look tough, you pansy!" Sadly, Anal Blast’s biggest claim to fame is that Joey Jordison cut his drum teeth with the band. This is an injustice in itself because, well, the worst, most sample-ridden Anal Blast song is infinitely better than the entire Slipknot discography; certainly these guys deserve better recognition (even if it is for lyrics about improperly douched cunts). Their style of misogynistic porngrind is brutal, unrelenting, and appropriately sickening (though not as much as Whore, I get uneasy listening to them). If such an event were to arise where their combined forces would merge onto one piece of plastic, the world would very much implode.

Okay, so I’m a bit wrong. So sue me; I’m not a quantum physicist. Anyhow, that world altering event has come and gone and now we have the Cephalic Carnage and Anal Blast split. Here Cephalic Carnage goes all out grinding. You won’t see the insane variety of styles that is prevalent on their full lengths, but the music is still ridiculously fast and brutal grindcore that will more than likely impregnate your sister if you left her in a room unattended with it playing in the background. It may also kill your cat and prepare a Thai meal for 3 from Scruffy’s remains. Again, I can’t clarify as I know nothing of metal quantum physics, but with grind this insane and punishing it only makes sense.

Then there is Anal Blast. Not much can be said about Anal Blast’s half of the split outside of the fact that it’s disgusting, heavy as a slab of shit hitting a German whore’s mouth, and sloppy like the seconds you see in half the gang bangs in the porn industry. It’s rude and crude, and that’s just the way Don Decker likes it. This is the music you want to play when you find your girlfriend of 3 years cheating on you with 4 obese Mexican men, her twin sister, and your dog Sparky all at the same time. Throw in a sledgehammer and some beer and you got yourself a party.

It goes without saying that any grind fan needs to pick up this split. Even if you don’t like the disgusting, filthy subject matter of Anal Blast, there is still plenty to be had from the wacky hijinks of Cephalic Carnage. It’s worth every penny. Written By: Necro-tron