Four years of existence, two demos, thirteen tracks. This full length is the complete anthology of Illinois black metallers Ember. First of all, I need to say that I’m not overly familiar with black metal music, but who gives a flying monkey’s bare flaming ass? I know what I like and I know what I dislike, so let’s move on. If you had asked me my honest opinion after my first listen to this CD I probably would have told you the experience was on par to listening to your own ass flapping and spurting diarrhea. Although I’m sure a few of the members of the band may find that comparison to be highly complimentary, I did give the release another chance and have upgraded my opinion to a mere cheek spreading wet flatulence, you know the sort, the one you rip then drop your pants and check to make sure you didn’t paint a Picasso in your undies. Just like that experience, I didn’t find any feces upon examining Ember further. Actually, their music is a lot better than I had originally given them credit for. By my third listen I was beginning to compare the experience to passing wind in bed, although you know it’s probably pretty rancid, you still lift the covers and take a whiff just to make sure. By the fifth attempt I was beginning to smell roses, which rather disturbed me, considering only a few listens earlier it smelled a lot like an elephant had digested and passed a mountain of dead and rotting rodents under my sheets. Anyway, enough about my ass, this review is about Ember and Abbas. The music is very raw, much like Dark Throne, however the raw sound is about the only comparison you can make to them, since none of the members of Ember run around Chicago wearing corpse paint, black leather and spikes, makeup, women’s clothing and high heels, maybe, but certainly no corpse paint. Pete’s vocals are surprisingly strong, considering all of the stories I’ve heard of him involving small rodents, vaseline and paper towel tubes. The guitars are handled by a multitude of people, regardless of who handles it throughout the four demo recordings the riffs are catchy and well played, making for some interesting music. The drumming is rather typical black metal blasting, however it seems as though Chris, Abbas and James (with all of the rotating band members are they sure they’re not from Florida?) were smart enough to mix their beats to not make the patterns obnoxious or too obvious. I think all America is re-known for is urine flavored water called Budweiser and Coors and a president who really knows how to enjoy a fat cuban (I meant cigars, but after seeing Lewinsky it wouldn’t surprise me if the latter was true), however, with bands like Darkmoon, Usurper, Sarcophagus and Ember tearing up the continent, it’s only a matter of time before the US black metal scene is equal if not stronger with their European counterparts, and considering the donkey shit being passed off for black metal over there like Dummi Booger and Ancient, it looks like that gap is getting smaller and smaller every day. If you’re into raw, angry black metal, check out Ember, if not, then don’t, see if I care, you fucking panty ass.

Written By: Abbas