This album literally makes me cringe. If you were unfortunate enough to hear Digital Dimension’s Power From The North : Sweden Rocks The World then you’ll understand why after hearing this album. Take Scandinavian death metal, somewhat in the vein of newer In Flames with gravel throated vocals, mix it with some Pride &amp Glory (Zakk Wylde’s short lived blues-rock group of the early 90s), perhaps some Winger and toss in some power metal to top it off. The album does sound as ridiculous as my description, sadly enough. I don’t think there’s anything on this earth that could possibly save this band, apart from a few gunshot wounds to the skull to each member of this band. Maybe I could call up the guys in Cadaver Inc. and get them to whack Gandalf and cleanly dispose of their corpses. I mean, Cadaver Inc. IS from Norway, and Norweigian hate Finns, so I figure it should be a cheap job, hell, they may do it themselves just for fun. Bands like Gandalf make me want to go to Finland, toss on my hockey pads, slip into my skates, toss on my Jari Kurri replica jersey from when he was with the Edmonton Oilers in the early 80s, grab my Jari Kurri signature stick, drag the band to a hockey rink and go off on them hockey-style. Beat some real Finnish pride into them. Just take my stick, bash them upside the heads with it like I’m Marty McSorley then just give them a beating that would make tears drip from the eyes of Tiger Williams (3966 penalty minutes in 962 games) and Dave Schultz (472 penalty minutes in a single season) in pride. I’d make Mike Tyson biting off Evander Holyfield’s ear look tame in comparison. Hell, I’ll get Leif to go with me and he and beat them so badly they’ll swear the Broad Street Bullies (Philadelphia Flyers of the late 1970s, for those of you too ignorant to the sport of hockey to know this) had reformed and were kicking their asses from one end of the country to the other. Actually, the professional wrestler Chris Jericho’s father, Ted Irvine, played for the New York Rangers. Jericho is from Winnipeg and also has a glam metal group, Fozzy Fosbourne, and I bet even he would think Gandalf is sickeningly lame… and he’s Christian! That’s it… me, Leif and Y2J are heading to motherfucking Finland and kicking Gandalf’s fucking ass! I’ll beat them all upside the head with multiple cross checks and high sticks, Jericho will put them all in the Walls Of Jericho while Leif goes muay thai on their faces, going berserk with kicks to their lifeless heads. YEAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I’m sorry, I’m just getting really worked up about this. I’ll just sum up this album as quickly as I possibly can. Gandalf sucks, end of discussion.

Written By: Teufel