Could someone please find Dave Rotten and ask him what he smokes before signing a band like this and send me one HUGE dose of the stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I am open minded about music, I am even able to suppress my laughter when I see grown men dressed up like they’re rejects from a KISS convention who didn’t quite know how to paint the star over their eye properly, claiming to be "brutal evil black metallers", but Gothic Sex’s act and image leaves me in a state of shock… shocked that someone would willingly listen to this shit and enjoy it. I’ve never understood goth culture, I never will, but I think I understand where their suicidal urges come from. After listening to Laments for the first time I certainly got the urge to slice open an artery or two. The guitaring on this album is actually not that bad on some songs and would sound okay for certain melodic metal bands, but the rest… I don’t know where to begin. The keyboarding is ridiculous and as far from haunting as I’ve ever heard, the use of a drum machine is just stupid since the band doesn’t seem to have figured out that it is possible to make the thing play more than one beat. As far as the vocals, all I can say is the guy could definitely use some fiber in his diet, I don’t think it’s healthy to be quite that constipated. I actually feel sorry for the guy, I know I’ve had my moments sitting on the throne curled up trying to force it out, sweating and straining, trying to talk my way through it "Come on out, please come out. If there really is a God, I swear I will go to church every Sunday until the day I die if you’ll please just help this puppy through. I swear I will never eat meat again…" Donations of Raisin Bran, prune juice or Metamucil should be sent directly to the band. Remember, constipation is not something to be taken lightly, we should help this man through his struggle and support him in his battle against anal retention. Even the CD Rom is designed poorly and their music videos are laughable at best. If you willingly buy this album, do the world a favor and kill yourself.

Written By: Teufel