*Snore* Zzzzzzz…

Wha? Huh? Oh shit, there’s a cd playing? Wait, I’m supposed to review this? Aw fuck, hold on. Let me see what this thing is. Oh, yeah that’s right- I was listening to Hell-Born from Poland.

Hell-Born is a project most notably consisting of ex-members of Behemoth and the Behemoth side project Damnation. Yes, Hell-Born is a side project of both another band and that band’s own side project at the same time. If you’re thinking that this can’t bode well, you’re right.

Hell-Born‘s latest album Cursed Infernal Steel isn’t bad at all. In fact, it is played quite competently and the riffs are decently catchy. The problem is it’s just really fucking boring. Hell-Born aren’t as technical or fast as their progenitor Behemoth, nor do they really compete with the Vader clones or native brutal death metal acts like Yattering. Instead, Hell-Born goes for a very much mid-paced style of death metal with Behemoth‘s guitar tone and an incredibly simple, yet anthem-like vocal delivery. Essentially Hell-Born is trying to go for a point in-between their countrymen and Bolt Thrower‘s speed, while staying simple enough without sounding sloppy.

They pull it off, but, fuck, the songs are repetitive as shit. The first two tracks "Impaled Archangels" and "The Crown Is Mine" pretty much comprise the entirety of the album; just recycle and repeat. There is some notable differentiation here and there (like "Stonecold") but for the most part you’re listening to the same damn thing over and over again. Music writing 101: catchy riffs only stay catchy if they stay somewhat fresh. As I said above, it’s really fucking boring.

It also doesn’t help that the drumming is the most mind-numbingly bland thing I’ve heard all month. Jesus, someone give the drummer hallucinogens or something; maybe if he sees a pink rhino trying to horn-rape his ass he might try something new. Fuck, the sound of him flipping over his drums to run out of the studio in a drug-induced dementia would be more entertaining.

If you’re already indoctrinated into Hell-Born‘s fan base, then by all means dig in, I guess. But if you’re like the other 90% of us, the only reason you should want to buy this album is to cure insomnia; this thing will put you to sleep.

Review byNecro-tron