Let’s recap for a second, boys and girls. Once upon a time there was a metal band named Pantera. You may have heard of them, considering modern rock, commercial radio, and most of the metal press treats them with a reputation akin to the greatest of legends. In reality, that reputation was entirely inaccurate: the real Pantera was a solid aggro-metal band that through determination and the appropriate Exhorder influence here and there rose from their glam roots to become a decent metal band. Pantera had some good groove-centric songs, and Dimebag Darrell was a pretty damn good guitarist. The band would go on to establish a solid footing in popular metal and release some memorable albums. The band split-up after the start of the millennium, and that was that.

Why did I go through that recap? To establish one key thing: Pantera was a good for what it did, but that is it. Why is this notion important? Because everyone is shitting themselves over Hellyeah being some kind of immense metal supergroup. They’re not. The band is comprised almost entirely of Mudvayne and Nothingface members. That’s right: the majority of Hellyeah’s heritage is shitty nu metal acts. The one legitimate claim to metal is in the form of Pantera’s Vinnie Paul on drums. But that’s it.

You can’t have a supergroup classification rely on one actual metal musician to sustain itself. To complicate matters, while Pantera had its moments Vinnie Paul’s resume is pretty shitty. Vinnie Paul only has Damageplan and Pantera under his belt; the former was a horrible excuse for a metal act and the latter is overrated to mythical proportions. As I said above, a lot of Pantera’s legacy arises from some fictional concept of the band. I can guarantee you that over half of Pantera’s fanbase haven’t actually listened to Pantera. I don’t mean that in some elitist manner that there is some esoteric way to truly listen to a band; I mean that they literally haven’t bothered to listen to more than a few songs. They simply bought Vulgar Display of Power and constantly listened to that moronic "Walk" song over and over again. None of them know about Pantera’s first four albums, and I rarely hear them use any of the rest of the post-Cowboys from Hell discography. Most Pantera fans regard the band as some no image, no bullshit collection of badasses when really Pantera was a strong group that learned how to market themselves and change with the times. Pantera was praiseworthy, but the praise they typically received was not the praise they deserved. So really the only reason you got kids coming to Hellyeah is for that guy that did drums on "Walk" or for Mudvayne members. That’s hardly a metal supergroup.

I’ll be honest though; that means shit in the long run. As long as the performers pull off good metal, I don’t give two shits if they were originally backup singers for Dead-Alive (okay, maybe I do care somewhat; Dead-Alive was really fucking fruity). Hell, look at Dave Grohl. If you told most metal fans back in the early 90’s that the drummer for Nirvana could put out a metal album that was a well conceived homage to Celtic Frost, Voivod, and other prolific 1980’s metal acts, most guys would laugh at you. Well fast forward more than a decade and you get Dave Grohl doing just that with his Probot project. If Hellyeah could deliver the goods, then that’s all that matters.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Like no one saw that coming. Hellyeah’s self-titled album comes across as a collection of crappy Mudvayne B-sides, and yet somehow manages to be so inept that they sound even worse. The band merges nu metal style and sensibilities with aggro groove. The riffs are simplistic as shit, the drumming is practically narcotic, and the nu groove has the enjoyable rhythm of someone attempting to skullfuck a retarded child’s plush elephant toy. You can practically smell the cum-soaked fur of the inanimate doll from your speakers! Look, I realize metal bands don’t need to be blazingly technical, but for Christ’s sake garage retro-thrash acts that couldn’t play for shit are leagues beyond this in terms of both musicianship and quality.

And this isn’t to say anything of the vocals. Chad Grey does nothing to bring any new identity to Hellyeah or to shed his reputation as a shitty nu metal frontman. In actuality, his cat-in-heat vocals only solidify Hellyeah’s Mudvayne-esque sound. If I didn’t know ahead of time that this was Vinnie Paul’s band, I would have actually thought this was Mudvayne and would be surprised that they could actually play worse than usual. Say what you will about Phil Anselmo’s attitude and idiotic diatribes, but sweet fuck he’s better than this shit when it comes to vocals. Vinnie Paul should just bury the fucking hatchet between himself and Phil… or Vinnie Paul should just stop playing entirely. Considering the spiraling plummet from Pantera to Damageplan to Hellyeah, the latter course may actually be Vinnie Paul’s best option. Hellyeah is utter shit.

Hellyeah further does metal a major disservice: it insults real hard-working metal supergroups and their efforts. So while you have Hellyeah getting all sorts of air play and exposure simply because they have one member from a nationally renowned band, real metal supergroups like Fractured-era Capharnaum, the late Arcturus, Lock-up, and other praise worthy acts are getting completely shafted.

Hellyeah is a poor excuse for a metal supergroup. It’s comprised of nearly no one credible in metal, and performs so badly that they’re worse than even Mudvayne. I really don’t want to be an asshole, but I need to point out that maybe there was something decent about Dimebag’s death: Vinnie Paul won’t be able to drag his brother through the mud with him.

Written By: Necro-tron