"People who insult bands they like in reviews are lame."

Coming from a guy who sings about poop while wearing tight-fitting leather pants, Impaled’s guitarist/low end vocalist, Leon del Muerte, has proven, once again, that he is an amazingly large homo. Of course, homosexuality runs rampant in Impaled, according to Abbas who told me of long, disturbing, animalistic butt-pirating orgies during the Ember, Impaled and Engorged mini-tour. Actually he said nothing of the sort, but I just feel like putting Leon down because it makes me feel cool. Anyway… unless you’ve spent the past four years in your parents’ garage huffing paint and gasoline, you’ve probably already heard about Impaled, California’s Carcass-Dismember death metal cross breed. Most bands wait until after they’ve recorded several successful albums and have been a staple in the metal scene for several years before releasing a compilation of 7" tracks, demo material and cover songs on one CD. This is not the Impaled way. Choice Cuts contains 13 tracks with material taken from the band’s splits with Engorged and Cephalic Carnage, the From Here To Colostomy demo and cover songs for the Carcass and Impetigo tributes, along with some promotional material previously unavailable on CD. The newest tracks, "Nightsoil" and "Until Death"… are featured on the split with Engorged and are both high paced death-thrash, with the patented Carcass-like high-low vocal assault. As much as I hate to admit it these two tracks get me out of my chair and gets my hair tossed about like a pedophile in prison. Up next is the cover of Carcass‘ "Carneous Cacoffiny", which is pretty much on par note-for-note with the original on Necroticism - Descanting The Insalubrious, which leaves me wondering why they even bothered. Personally if I wanted to hear Carcass played note for note I’d just listen to Carcass, but that’s just me. The cover of Impetigo’s "I Work For The Street Cleaner", which was originally featured on Razorback Records’ Wizards Of Gore - A Tribute To Impetigo, is decent, but far from the greatest song from the tribute album, let alone this album. The version on the tribute is a lot better, simply because of the intro featured on the tribute and not on this CD. According to Leon it was Raul acting like the total fool screaming that he is the "baddest motherfucker you ever saw man". Whoever it was it was the damn funniest thing I’ve heard. After this is a really rough version of "All That Rots" and "Spirits Of The Dead" which, as I mentioned earlier, was a track that was sent along to Deathvomit which helped solidify Impaled’s signing. The original version of "Spirits Of The Dead" totally blows away the recording that made it on The Dead Shall Dead Remain and is one of their all-time strongest songs. Up next is the four-track demo, From Here To Colostomy, which I already reviewed, and the review still stands to this day. The only track that wasn’t on the band’s debut full length was the title track. Finishing out the album is two versions of "With Shit I Am Adorned". The first is from their split with Cephalic Carnage (the other song from the EP is the demo recording of "Flesh & Blood"), which has pretty poor production, the final version being the worst offender with the vocals sounding more like brutal death metal gurgles than the Carcass-like utterings. Honestly, the second of which is my favorite, mostly due to the chaotic sound and overall guttural brutality displayed. It just sounds sloppy as fuck and totally angry, which I love. Mixed between these two versions is "Ingestion Of Colotomic Funk", which was recorded during the same session as the second version of "With Shit I Am Adorned". I just happen to be a huge fan of really nasty production, since it just makes everything sound angrier and rawer energy seeps through. It should be noted that the final two tracks are from a two song promo with Sean handling bass and guitar duties as Ron Dorn had left the band shortly before the recording. According to Leon Choice Cuts was originally planned as a four track EP, with the two songs from the Engorged split and the two cover tracks being featured, however Necropolis/Deathvomit wanted more songs so the demo and other hard to find material was added. The only thing missing from the band’s discography is their original demo, entitled Septic Vomit, which the band hopes never resurfaces… ever. Of course no one at the label was bright enough to realize that chances are people who bought their debut, The Dead Shall Dead Remain, already own the From Here To Colostomy demo, and already own their split EPs with Engorged and Cephalic Carnage. The people who truly love the Impaled sound also love Carcass and already own the recently released tribute album from the band’s label Deathvomit Records, who most of the band members currently work for, and anyone with half a brain already bought the tribute to Impetigo after reading my review of it a few months back. This is basically an album for people who don’t already have the other material on tape, vinyl or CD elsewhere, and if you don’t, then quite honestly, you aren’t worthy of owning this CD. Anyway… the band’s demo is still available for free from their website, so why the fuck would anyone buy it on CD? Honestly, I think the only reason you should buy this CD is because the artwork has been banned, and I think that’s funny considering the baby on the cover is made of plastic. God bless America…

Written By: Teufel