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| Label: |
Nuclear Blast Records |
| Year: |
2008 |
| Format: |
mCD |
| Tracks: |
4 |
| Genre: |
Melodic Metal |
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First, what the fuck is that in the album art? A giant owl head? Is that kid going to start rambling about where you lick to get to the center of a faggot? I know the answer to that: the asshole.
And that's what this EP is: a really bad rim job. "A bad rim job?" you say. "How is that possible?"
I'll tell you how that's possible. Anders, in his attempt to sexually experiment and gratify his pre-pubescent fan base, decides to try using icy hot as a sauce on the ample inner cheeks surrounding the sphincter. And that's the searing pain that you feel around your asshole, as he licks and prods forcefully with his tongue, spreading the icy hot in and around your flinching bung hole. And he thinks you're enjoying it- like those flinches are actually you holding back an orgasmic outburst- but oh no, it's not. That's the scorching, unrecognizably torturous anal pain of violation that Anders is forcing on your virginal butthole. And when he tries to go for the full on asshole penetration, you will know true pain and horror. Like a lemon-soaked knife, ripping into your rectal cavity.
The material on here sucks. It's the same old crap- minus the nu influences- that In Flames has been peddling since the last 3 releases. The EP is full of forgettable, me-too melodies, Anders' poor harmonious vocalizations (go back to death growls, cock sucker), a complete waste of Jesper's guitar ability, and as a whole will bore you senseless. To be fair, at least Anders and company admit that they suck now: the title track softly sings "We're not even trying." Nope, you most definitely are not trying. At all. And neither am I.
If you absolutely have to go with this style of music, you might as well stick to real Gothenburg-esque music and grab something from Scar Symmetry or better yet just dig out the old Unanimated and Eucharist releases. Or if you want real melo-death with balls, pick up the new Arghoslent. If this is a show of what's to come from In Flames' next full length, you're better off hanging yourself in the children's section of Wal-Mart after a botched attempt at auto-erotic asphyxiation. Fucking pitiful.
Review: Necro-tron
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