Everyone’s favorite kraut retard one-man band Nargaroth’s latest full-length consists of a bunch of tracks telling the history of black metal. I don’t even need to tell you that a black metal concept album about black metal with song titles like "The Day Burzum Killed Mayhem" is bound to be more retarded than a Opel Ascona chock full of drooling, cross-eyed mongoloid vegetables, which I suppose are his target audience. You don’t have to look any further than their website to realize what kind of juvenile faggots Nargaroth appeals to. This Kanwulf-guy personifies everything that is blatantly extra chromosome 21-abundant about the "kvlt necro cumlicking NSBM"-scene. There not a single thing I don’t hate about Nargaroth and this stupid fucking record. The title is beyond ridiculous, the subject matter and lyrics appears as they were scribbled on a circle of paper with a crayon in a kindergarden special ed-class by an ADD-ridden four-year old German, sauerkraut-eating, inbred asshole with Kleinfelter’s syndrome, and the music does of course fucking blow. Cult, my ass. I hope Kanwulf falls into a manhole on his way to the drug store to buy anal lube and fucking drowns because his big ass grimm, cult metal boots drag him under. Nargaroth once made a demo idiotically titled Fuck Off Nowadays Black Metal. Well, "nowadays black metal" includes fucking Nargaroth too, you fucking dipshit.

Written By: Krig