Who are Neoandertals, you ask? They’re an Estonian ultra brutal death metal outfit. Where is Estonia? What am I, a cartographer? Look it up yourself, you lazy cunt.

The information I am willing to share, free of charge, is that Neoandertals was once a three-piece unit consisting of bassist/vocalist Rain Pohlak of Mortophilia, drummer Roland Seerand guitarist Toomas Keermaan. Earlier this year Toomas parted ways with the band, and Rain and Roland chose to continue on as a two-piece for the recording of their first demo Neander Valley.

Contained on Neander Valley is a mere two songs with the effort clocking in at just over 7 minutes. Both songs essentially sound like what California’s Disgorge would sound like if Matti Way, Ricky Myers and Eric Flesy recorded their ‘95 demo as a three-piece. The only difference being that Ricky Myers and Eric Flesy are much better at their respective instruments, with Roland and Rain coming across rather amateurishly at best.

Rain’s vocals are virtually identical in tone, pitch and delivery as Matti Way during his time in Disgorge; every rasp, every gurgle, every weird slurp, he pretty much covered it perfectly. Unfortunately, drum and bass death metal isn’t that good in theory, and even less so in practice and those vocals really seem out of place without some solid riffs carrying the music along, it’s just a lot of weak blasts, lame bass lines and insane gurgles.

As a brutal death metal band, with a good guitarist with some decent concepts on song structure in the fold, they may actually become decent for the style, even if they are incredibly unimaginative, but as a two-piece, they’re definitely lacking in substance and pinch a giant Neoanderturd for their debut recording.

Written By: Teufel