Every Beechnut spitting, Blue Ribbon drinking, red-blooded American is supposed to hate the French. For some reason I’ve always wanted to follow this smoothly paved path. I guess it’s because they look down their noses at tourists with that ‘please douche’ sneer. Ever tasted Avian before? It tastes like shit, but something real good must be lurking in that water. First Gorod fucked it all up and now this.

Pitbulls in the Nursery. Is this band name clever, horrible, or just stupid as hell? Beats the shit out of me, but what lies inside their digipack made me feel like I just knocked out Mike Tyson on the old NES for the first time again. This album is musically incredible. What we have here is death metal that is brutal, experimental, and intelligent. Is it technical? Yes, without being mind-numbingly fast. It’s technical in the sense that these guys are sound wave abusers of the highest order. These badass frenchies deliver monster, crushing riffs that also maintain a groove. The layered harmonies, the devastating rhythm section, the massive breaks…insert nut blast here. No joke, this is about as good as it gets. Sadly, this CD has been out for quite a while and it deserves way more attention. Although they are still touring, I have no idea when the next bomb will drop. The French are well armed my friends.

Listening to the intro track sets up a bad first impression. It’s a minute and a half of jungle noise, city noise, and Godzilla. I’m not kidding. Again, like the band name, I’m not sure if it’s cool or not, but I don’t give a sweet flying Christ. Track 2, "Lunatic Factory", marches in with a killer unison riff that is carried by some heavyweight drumming. It sort of reminds me of Brujeria when they are at their absolute best (for about ten seconds). From there, these guys relinquish shit only they can expel. It’s not that Monstrosity wouldn’t be able to cover the song, but the songwriting is ridiculous. Lots of sick changes, tons of technical skill, and some little “jazzy” breaks that kill. Said breaks are similar to some shit that Alarum does, but on a higher level for sure. The vocals are good. Think your standard cookie monster variety. The delivery is powerful, vocal patterns make sense, but the lyrics are stupid as hell aside from being in broken English, which is fine by me.

The production is perfect, every song is as solid as Forrest Griffin’s head (physically), and there is a bonus track that features sitar. I hate bonus tracks, but this little cutie cannot be denied. The sitar goes solo for a few minutes then the rest of the band joins in, and in a very convincing way. Pick this up at Willowtip if it’s still there.

Written By: Silky Bravado