Until recently, the Slovakian metal scene had gone almost entirely unnoticed by the underground metal community, especially in North America. Over the past few years several bands have made names for themselves in their respective metal sub genres including, Depresy, Krabathor, Squash Bowels, Reinfection and Root, and have helped pave the way for other groups for their homeland to gain more exposure to the rest of the metal world. While a lot of the bands that are able to get exposure overseas are talented, there are some bands that will leave even the most diehard of metal fans scratching their heads and asking, "What the fuck is this?" Sanatorium would be one of those bands.

This band is by no means a new group, they’ve been around for 10 years, and 2001’s Internal Womb Cannibalism, is their second full length, and sixth recording overall. At one point they were another in a long line of Morbid Angel clones, however they’ve changed style and can now best be described as brutal burpgore. I would make references to other bands as far as the sound is concerned, but I wouldn’t want to insult them that much, even if I hate their bands. The riffing is monotonous and simplistic, and can best be summed up as "jun jun jun - jun jun jun - chugga-chugga - jun jun jun." The drumming is pretty high up in the mix, which normally wouldn’t be too much of a problem; if it weren’t for the fact the drums are so irritating. The snare drum is especially bad, sounding far too electronic for my liking. I think Dzordz isn’t the drummer’s name, I think it’s really Slovakian for "drum machine", and a really bad drum machine at that. There are plenty of fat slob blasts, you know what I mean, it’s like putting a fat slob on a bicycle. It’s kind of funny at first, but after a while watching that blubber fly, hearing the whined pants and seeing all of that sweat after a mere 15 seconds just becomes disgusting. Try putting up with that for 32:51, and you basically get the idea of what the drums are all about.

The vocals… well… how can I describe this? Hmm… Alright… chug a 2 litre bottle of cream soda really fast, and try to burp as long as you can without losing the air bubbles in your stomach. Do this for 32:51. Some bands have some really cool sounding burp vocals, Martin and Prasiak basically just sound like they need to lay off the carbonated drinks for a while. The vocals are like listening to a girl burp, it’s kind of cool the first time she does it, because it’s unexpected… after doing it for 32:51 you just want to leave the room and hope you never see this woman again, no matter how hot she is.

The lyrics… I don’t even know where to begin. There are 10 songs with an intro and outro for the album, 6 of the songs’ lyrics are written by Martin and are all in bad English and are both retarded and disturbing and include lines such as "I tortured mute animals later on, their pain was more beautiful than mine, but it still didn’t meet my terms, until I tormented the small boy from the neighbourhood." Unfortunately, 3 of the songs were written by Matt Bishop of Lividity, lyrically it’s probably more stupid than anything written by Chris Barnes, who seems to be an obvious idol of his. James Parks II of Prophecy wrote the lyrics to the other track, "That Cunts Name Was Heather". I don’t know, but judging by the lyrics I don’t think he liked this Heather girl too much. She may very well be the reason why he had to leave his band due to "legal issues." Hopefully he’s heavily medicated and sedated at this time.

Overall Sanatorium’s Internal Womb Cannibalism is more irritating than listening to Deranged’s cover of The Rolling Stones‘ "Paint It Black" for 32:51 consecutively. Even the artwork, done by the godawful Jonzig is worse than expected. I would like to try to think of a single good point about this album, but I can’t, except for its only 32:51. If I were to hear that this band was blown up by a landmine, I don’t think I’d shed a tear, I’d probably raise my beer to the man who lay it down. If you like this band, I hope you meet the same fate. I’m now going to break this CD to make sure it never harms another person’s ears like it harmed mine for 32:51. May they all die slow and painful limbless deaths!

Written By: Teufel