I have been dreading this day for a long time now. Today is the day where I would actually have to listen to the new album by Sarah Jezebel Deva. Jesus fucking Christ, what did I do to deserve this? In case you are unaware Sarah used to do backing vocals for Cradle of Filth. I don’t care who you are, Cradle of Filth is one of the worst bands in existence. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING they have put out is good, not even the early material, it all blows!

The Corruption of Mercy starts out with the song, “No Paragon of Virtue.” Right away things start off bad with horrible techno sounds before blast beats come thumping in. The blast beats are so out of place, it’s like they were put in to say, “Yes, you are listening to extreme metal.” The whole album is predictable, basically if you took any Cradle of Filth album and removed Dani Filth’s screams, that sound like he’s pissing on an electric fence, and replaced him with this cunt you’d be listening to the same fucking thing.

As far as the vocals go, her voice is irritating. I just can’t get past it. I understand that the vocals are the highlight of the album, but not one vocal harmony or melody caught my ear. Actually, it’s a little distracting, because if you’re trying to focus on the music in the background, you can’t, because her vocals are at the forefront. Not only that, but you have cheesy symphonic strings and frilly goth elements to contend with too.

Speaking of cheese, the lyrics at points are laughably bad. Take the song “As A Matter of Convenience” for example:

“No love in this room, let’s loosen up with whiskey
I will lay where others have displayed before me
Its easier to swallow knowing I’m on your list
Your sheets smell of victims, am I number 13 ?

You won’t last long, you never do,
I need more whiskey to get me through.
So overrated, should have been sedated,
I’d rather watch paint dry!”

HAHAHHAAHAHA!!! How can she sing this with a straight face? So what?, a guy’s using you for a piece of ass. Welcome to the real world, at least you’re getting it you ungrateful cunty sow.

Even the music itself is bad, there are no good riffs or melodies that grab your attention. The drumming is simple and basic, this guy needs to educate himself on the concept of fills, they might as well have a fucking machine back there. I thought I hit the bottom of the shit pile until “Pretty With Effects” came roaring out of my speakers like a paper airplane doing a nose dive into a garbage can filled with used syringes and vomit. I’m going to let you look that one up on your own, it’s easily the worst thing here, and that’s really saying something.

So big surprise, this album sucks. Well, is she at least hot so maybe I can rub one out to her? Nope! And this is coming from someone who openly likes big girls. Ahh well, there’s always XXL Girls and Busty Vixen to quench my thirst for chunky chicks. If you’re a man and you like this album, then you’re obviously gay, there is no way a straight man would ever be caught dead listening to this piece of shit. This is geared towards the female teenage cunt fans of Cradle of Filth, who would like to listen to this while diddling their clits to a picture of Dani Filth blowing his drummer while he wears a school boy costume.

So in conclusion, this album is shit and I would rather place my dick inside a toaster then sit through it again. Go get fucked Sarah Jezebel Deva, I sure as fuck won’t be doing it.

Review byEric Bocchino