Philadelphia is the sixth most populated city in the United States with a population near 6 million in the area. It is home to a number of well known and respected metal and grindcore acts. Unfortunately, for every good band, there’s an equally bad one, and they all share one thing in common: Relapse Records.

There was a time when I thought the worst bands in existence were in Europe in the forms of Libido Airbag and Nunwhore Commando 666, but by the powers of Gayskull, the She-Men and He-Ras at Relapse Records have found ways to associate themselves with bands even more awful than even I could imagine.

Firstly, there was Agoraphobic Nosebleed, one of the most painfully shitty bands in existence, surprisingly founded by Pig Destroyer founder Scott Hull. His band mate Carl Schultz formed the musical abomination known as Prosthetic Cunt alongside Roger Beaujard of the equally shit-awful Mortician. Carl later went on to provide "guest" vocals on another Philly shit steak in the form of XXX Maniak which consisted of members of another Relapse band, Rumpelstiltskin Grinder. To make things worse, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Prosthetic Cunt and XXX Maniak are the main influences for Philly’s Sewage Sammich, who are signed to 3XM Productions, which, surprise, surprise, is short for XXX Maniak Productions, which is run by… you guessed it, the guys in XXX Maniak. To complete the circle of shit we have the members of Sewage Sammich who also happen to be Relapse Records employees. Thus, the six degrees of separation is complete and the result is Relapse Records is to blame for this god awful piece of shit, waste of plastic I hold before me entitled One Man’s Sewage Is Another Man’s Sammich.

The material contained on this disc can be described simply; this is a band whose main influences are three of the worst bands in existence, and play a similar style of lo-fi cybergrind… badly. The guitar distortion is set to the maximum level of annoyance, the drum machine is poorly programmed and the production, handled by Scott Hull, is complete fucking garbage. The effects used on the vocals often make it sound like Tom Araya on the painfully bad collaboration Slayer had with Atari Teenage Riot on the Spawn movie soundtrack. The riffs themselves are actually pretty decent, unfortunately, with the annoying distortion, the terrible drum machine programming, bad vocals and horrible production, there is nothing salvageable in this enormous mess. The only compliment I can provide is that I’m thankful this album is a mere 22 minutes in length and after I’m done reviewing this I never have to listen to it again.

In summary, this album is fucking awful, even by the low standards of the cybergrind genre. Relapse Records employees should stick to what they do best; playing "hide the cheese steak" at the company glory holes, and leave the music playing to those who can actually create music that someone would want to listen to. Anyone. I swear if anyone at Relapse sends me another album as bad as this, I will go out of my way to attend the Maryland Death Fest next year, just so I can climb on their merch table and take a shit on everything, then… grab fist fulls of my shit and throw it at every Relapse Records employee and band member I can find, like a pissed off freshly shaved monkey at a cosmetic company laboratory. Fuck you assholes!

Written By: Teufel