Oh, how the mighty have fallen……

After 25+ years, Slayer can obviously do whatever they want without giving a fuck about what anyone else thinks of them.   Unfortunately, they’ve apparently chosen to completely bore the shit out of anyone within earshot.   I’ve come to that pained conclusion having been a long-time fan of the band.   As a matter of fact, it wasn’t long ago that any rumor of an upcoming Slayer release would be cause for an instant boner – and a possible premature ejaculation, as well.   Honestly, simply because of Reign In Blood, the band could record themselves farting into a glass jar and I’d by the CD, though I’d probably pass on the DVD.   While many Teufel’s Tomb readers may have it, I haven’t met anyone else that has a copy of “Sick Boy” in their Slayer collection like I do.  This band has been a personal favorite of mine for a long, long time.

In fairness, Slayer really doesn’t qualify as an underground band at this point.   But, after repeated listens of World Painted Blood I had an innate need to comment on it, and this was the best forum in which to do so.   Also, who among us hasn’t had some type of connection to Slayer?   While there are varying opinions on the band at this point, there is no denying their overall impact on metal over the years.

So the album, unfortunately, sounds like the band is going through the motions.   As much as I wanted to like it, it sounds like a case of “we don’t really give a fuck.”   Throughout their career, Slayer has consistently offered up some cool riffs, and their playing is as tight as a nun’s asshole.   But the band has clearly run out of ideas, and is simply rehashing music that they’ve put out before now.

There are a few highlights:  the title song is pretty cool until the ultra-stupid half-time section.  “Beauty Through Order” has a creepy feel to it that will grow on you, until the fucking god-awful guitar solo appears, and “Psychopathy Red” shows what the album could have been if some effort had been put into it.

However, there is so much mediocre crap here that a loyal Slayer fan should feel insulted. “Hate Worldwide” and “Public Display Of Dismemberment” are both so mindless that it’s hard to know what the band was thinking when these songs were written.  “Human Strain” actually offers a unique change of pace, but I swear to God I thought it had to be a cover song the first time I heard it.   And, for some reason, the band’s finger picking tendency that appeared on Christ Illusion continues on “Playing With Dolls.”

And that’s even before we get to “Americon.” Seriously, this is not only the worst song ever recorded by Slayer; it may also be one of the worst metal songs ever.   Think about that for a minute.   If you listen closely to the beginning of this song, you can almost hear Dave Lombardo playing a fucking cowbell.   Never in my life did I think the day would come when a Slayer song could be so fucking bad.  Coupled with a Kirk Hammett-inspired wah pedal fetish and stupid fucking juvenile lyrics – “it’s all about the motherfucking oil” oh, really, Kerry? thanks for that bit of intellectual insight – this song is a complete embarrassment to the band’s career.   I’m listening to this crap as I type this and getting more and more pissed off by the minute.   Can you imagine this garbage being included on Reign In Blood?

In recent interviews, the band members have hinted that they may be ready to retire in a few years.   All I can say is, that time has now arrived.  No question, Slayer‘s contribution to metal is legendary.   But at this rate, their next album should be titled “God Help Us All.”

Review byPile Driver