Slipknot
"All Hope Is Gone"
Artist:
Slipknot
Album:
All Hope Is Gone
Label:
Roadrunner Records
Year:
2008
Format:
CD
Tracks:
12
Genre:
Nu Metal
Recently I got the incredibly stupid idea to review any new “metal” album, no matter how popular and obnoxious it may be. In the past few weeks I’ve suffered through some pretty horrendous shit, it started with Opeth’s Watershed and Dragonforce’s Ultra Beatdown and now… ugh… Slipknot’s All Hope Is Gone. I can identify with the album title, that’s exactly how I’m feeling going into listening to this album.
This is the first time I’d bothered to listen to Slipknot, I’d never heard a single song or album of theirs prior to this. After listening to the first few minutes of this album I can tell I really wasn’t missing much. The music is pretty simple and straight forward nu metal/metalcore. The riffs are uninspired and unoriginal and the song structures are pretty basic. This band reminds me a lot of Machine Head with the simplicity of the music, the song structures and the overall lack of anything interesting going on in the music. I’ve heard more originality at a karaoke bar. Better singing too.
The band seems to fall back into the exact same song structures, riffs and breakdowns on every song. It’s like they stole one riff and built an entire album around it. Every once in a while the vocals switch from Robb Flynn-style to clean American Idol-ish mainstream pop sung vocals. For the most part it’s basically just hardcore barking on top of the most repetitive and generic music I’ve ever heard. "Psychosocial" has the most hilarious emo clean vocal moments, it’s got this ultra corny Dave Grohl sound to it. When Dave Grohl does it it’s supposed to be corny, I’m sure when Corey Taylor does it it’s supposed to be serious, but this shit is just ridiculous.
As I skim through every track (there’s no way I can sit through listening to a full hour of this shit), the one thing that becomes very apparent is that Slipknot owe a lot of musicians a lot of royalty money. They rip off everyone from Machine Head to Fear Factory to Tool to Cannibal Corpse and Pantera. It’s fucking ridiculous that anyone would buy into this shit.
There’s even a clean radio friendly rock ballad on this album in the form of "Snuff" that makes effort by Dragonforce and Opeth seem ultra brutal in comparison. Jesus Christ! I remember when Roadrunner was releasing shit by Immolation, Suffocation, Annihilator, Carnivore, Death, Deicide, Gorguts, King Diamond, Malevolent Creation, Obituary and Pestilence. Now their roster is filled with the gayest shit I’ve ever heard in my entire life, and I’ve listened to Samwell’s "What What (In The Butt)"! Opeth, Dragonforce, Cradle Of Filth, Killswitch Engage, new Megadeth, Nightwish and Trivium. What the fuck is that shit? When I was a teen metal on Roadrunner had balls, now it just sucks balls!
After skipping through this album I’ve come to the conclusion that the only actual talent the members of Slipknot possess is they can transform garbage man uniforms into costumes. They also suck. Really, really, really had. That’s about it. This band is so generic and boring I can’t even be bothered to put in the effort to think of decent insults to toss at them. It’s just so fucking boring, when I look back at the bands I listened to when I was a kid, then look back at what kids have to listen to now, I feel a lot less gay for liking the shit that I did.
When I was a teen the mainstream metal angst was performed by White Zombie (La Sexorcisto - Devil Music Vol. 1) Metallica (Metallica), Danzig (4p), Fear Factory (Demanufacture), Machine Head (Burn My Eyes), Pantera (Vulgar Display Of Power), Megadeth (Countdown To Extinction), Sepultura (Chaos A.D.), Anthrax (Sound Of White Noise) and Prong (Cleansing), all of whom are light years ahead of Slipknot in terms of originality, song writing and the bands’ abilities to write a simple catchy tune that you wouldn’t feel completely ashamed to admit to having liked at some stage in your life. What Slipknot provide to this generation of new metal fans is a good reason to not listen to metal at all. At least they’re making sanitation worker uniforms look cool to this generation because with the intelligence I’ve seen of Slipknot fans they aren’t qualified to do much else for a living. If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go take a shit in a garbage can now.
Written By: Teufel
This is the first time I’d bothered to listen to Slipknot, I’d never heard a single song or album of theirs prior to this. After listening to the first few minutes of this album I can tell I really wasn’t missing much. The music is pretty simple and straight forward nu metal/metalcore. The riffs are uninspired and unoriginal and the song structures are pretty basic. This band reminds me a lot of Machine Head with the simplicity of the music, the song structures and the overall lack of anything interesting going on in the music. I’ve heard more originality at a karaoke bar. Better singing too.
The band seems to fall back into the exact same song structures, riffs and breakdowns on every song. It’s like they stole one riff and built an entire album around it. Every once in a while the vocals switch from Robb Flynn-style to clean American Idol-ish mainstream pop sung vocals. For the most part it’s basically just hardcore barking on top of the most repetitive and generic music I’ve ever heard. "Psychosocial" has the most hilarious emo clean vocal moments, it’s got this ultra corny Dave Grohl sound to it. When Dave Grohl does it it’s supposed to be corny, I’m sure when Corey Taylor does it it’s supposed to be serious, but this shit is just ridiculous.
As I skim through every track (there’s no way I can sit through listening to a full hour of this shit), the one thing that becomes very apparent is that Slipknot owe a lot of musicians a lot of royalty money. They rip off everyone from Machine Head to Fear Factory to Tool to Cannibal Corpse and Pantera. It’s fucking ridiculous that anyone would buy into this shit.
There’s even a clean radio friendly rock ballad on this album in the form of "Snuff" that makes effort by Dragonforce and Opeth seem ultra brutal in comparison. Jesus Christ! I remember when Roadrunner was releasing shit by Immolation, Suffocation, Annihilator, Carnivore, Death, Deicide, Gorguts, King Diamond, Malevolent Creation, Obituary and Pestilence. Now their roster is filled with the gayest shit I’ve ever heard in my entire life, and I’ve listened to Samwell’s "What What (In The Butt)"! Opeth, Dragonforce, Cradle Of Filth, Killswitch Engage, new Megadeth, Nightwish and Trivium. What the fuck is that shit? When I was a teen metal on Roadrunner had balls, now it just sucks balls!
After skipping through this album I’ve come to the conclusion that the only actual talent the members of Slipknot possess is they can transform garbage man uniforms into costumes. They also suck. Really, really, really had. That’s about it. This band is so generic and boring I can’t even be bothered to put in the effort to think of decent insults to toss at them. It’s just so fucking boring, when I look back at the bands I listened to when I was a kid, then look back at what kids have to listen to now, I feel a lot less gay for liking the shit that I did.
When I was a teen the mainstream metal angst was performed by White Zombie (La Sexorcisto - Devil Music Vol. 1) Metallica (Metallica), Danzig (4p), Fear Factory (Demanufacture), Machine Head (Burn My Eyes), Pantera (Vulgar Display Of Power), Megadeth (Countdown To Extinction), Sepultura (Chaos A.D.), Anthrax (Sound Of White Noise) and Prong (Cleansing), all of whom are light years ahead of Slipknot in terms of originality, song writing and the bands’ abilities to write a simple catchy tune that you wouldn’t feel completely ashamed to admit to having liked at some stage in your life. What Slipknot provide to this generation of new metal fans is a good reason to not listen to metal at all. At least they’re making sanitation worker uniforms look cool to this generation because with the intelligence I’ve seen of Slipknot fans they aren’t qualified to do much else for a living. If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go take a shit in a garbage can now.
Written By: Teufel
19 Comments to “Slipknot “All Hope Is Gone””
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August 28th, 2008 6:35 pmI can’t believe it! It finally happened! Teufel actually risked his sanity to sample a Slipknot album and, as I expected, he ripped it apart like I hoped he would and I couldn’t agree more with what he said. Slipknot is just music kids listen to to piss off their parents and because their too scared to listen to actual brutal music they fall on it and talk about “how metal and innovative” it is. Somebody call Teufel’s house and make sure he hasn’t hung himself from listening to this shitty band.
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August 29th, 2008 1:54 amdamn, Roadrunner is a shitty nu-etal lable now? you don’t say….
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August 29th, 2008 4:37 am“… and I’ve listened to Samwell’s “What What (In The Butt)”!” Never would have thought that title actually came from a real song.
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August 30th, 2008 3:13 pmAt the beginning of the ‘nu-metal’hype I always thought: “well it’s crap, but the kids listening to this will eventually graduate to better/real metal.” Instead they are still unaware that there was a Metallica before the black album, that there was a time that Max Cavalera played in a good band and that Slayer doesn’t use fucking ‘cookie monster’ vocals. Doesn’t make me feel angry though, just very, very sad.
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August 30th, 2008 9:11 pmI heard the Bimbo from Lacuna Coil is doing one of the dorks from this band. Speaking of LC, that would be a great band to review.
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August 31st, 2008 8:52 pmWhy? Lacuna Coil is about as exciting for the same reasons as Angela’s Titties AKA Arch Enemy. You can guess what I mean by that.
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September 6th, 2008 11:33 amFUCK YOU TEUFEL. Metallica and slipknot’s new album are good. Your just trying to be gay and piss people off…and it works, I will give you that.
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September 6th, 2008 3:38 pmReading more than one of your reviews is one too many! You win the prize for being the most childish reviewer ever. Who’s dick did you suck to get this gig?
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September 6th, 2008 6:25 pmI dont like Slipknot at all but after reading your Metallica review I dotn think your in a any position to talk about music. Your talking absoloute shit by saying you have never heard a single song of Slipknot! LOL ! My fucking gran probably has heard Slipknot in her life. Guess you never heard the beatles or michael jackson too. Are you too metal to do anything other than pretend you have a actual review site and wanking off on webcam to 42 year old guys on a dating site. You suck more than anyone I have ever met on the internet! Your a bitter human being THAT WAS JUST YOUR LIFE!
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September 6th, 2008 7:08 pmAt least this shit is better than metallica’s new abortion.
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September 6th, 2008 10:52 pmWow youre a fucking piece of shit. I mean I dont like this album but why do all of your shitty reviews have to be like this? What the fuck kind of music do you like?
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September 8th, 2008 1:01 amJack–”My fucking gran probably has heard Slipknot in her life.” See JackO, that is the problem. If your gran wasn’t fucking, then your mum and pa/uncle wouldn’t have been born. And if your pa/uncle didn’t mistake your mums vagina for a horses ass you would’ve never been born either. So I blame all of earths problems on your fucking gran who listens to Slipknot. Oh and comparing the Beatles with Slipsnot was funny.
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September 10th, 2008 7:25 amI’m glad this album got ripped apart. I hate this stupid fucking band. I think their vocalist Corey is the biggest douchebag in music right now. He just thinks he’s so intelligent and “deep” when he’s really just an ugly redneck trailer-trash asshole.
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September 12th, 2008 1:13 amAnd by the looks of things, MetalUpUrAss has obviously got the basic idea down about Slipknot. Considering he must like it up the ass like his name implies, just like Slik dick
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September 14th, 2008 1:24 pmDon’t mind this guy, he can’t stand slipknot because he’d rather listen to music that’s so fucking brutal and evil that you feel like a part of Satan’s army just listening to it. Slipknot isn’t happy music, but it’s much better then the majority of his “good” reviews… goregrind? NO THANKS.
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September 16th, 2008 5:16 am“After skipping through this album I’ve come to the conclusion that the only actual talent the members of Slipknot possess is they can transform garbage man uniforms into costumes” - HAHAHA OWNED! a classic teufel review… EPIC haha
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October 1st, 2008 12:23 pmAs Much as I hate Slipknot, don’t ever try to do a review without listening to the whole album start to finish. Apparently, “a classic teufel review” means embarassing yourself to the whole music community with your lack of professionalism and unbiased opionions. I say embarassment with your regards to roadrunner records. Don’t ever put real metal bands in the same category because of your precious nu-metal hate, For shame sir, you are a joke and I shall be sure to stay away from this website again.
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October 24th, 2008 2:16 amRight on, Slipknots new album sucks major cock… they were good back in the day with their EP, Self Titled and Iowa albums. But holy shit these last two havent been too good, especially this one. Same goes with Metallica. I think both bands have passed their used by date. Bring on some new shit!
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November 28th, 2008 10:13 pmBeing biased and bashing albums without fully listening to them is just part of the genius of this site. Take it or leave it. And by the way, fuck professionalism. No opinion is unbiased, period. At least he makes it funny rather than doing a boring, standard review.
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