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Fuck.

Really, that is all that can be said to describe the sophomore effort by kiwi technical death metallers Ulcerate. FUCK.

Wait, no. That’s not accurate at all. Let me try something better. Just give me a second.

Wait for it… wait for it….

HOLY FUCKING SERRATED BLADE SOAKED IN BATTERY ACID SAWING THROUGH THE SHAFT OF THE POPE’S ERECT, ROTTING MICROPHALLUS!!!

Ulcerate has compiled one of the best god damn albums I’ve heard all year, if not the best. See, kids, this- THIS- is how you write a technical death metal album. Just ignore the fact that the album sounds like it was named by a Russian immigrant for a second, will ya? It has skill, it has technique, it has all that shit, but Everything Is Fire has something more. It oozes no, it hemorrhages fucking atmosphere. The darkness prevalent on this record is so thick, so dense, so impenetrably bleak and dirty that you will want to carve the skin off your dick and use it for a lampshade while furiously impaling your balls with an iron stiletto heel, all whilst screaming “FUCK ME HARDER MR. MAGOO, FUCK ME HARDER.”

Ulcerate has upped the ante from the last time they reared their collective, ugly, menacing grimace in our direction. Everything Is Fire can best be described as the unholy triple union of Immolation, Gorguts, and Crowpath with the brooding, netherworldly gaze of Portal witnessing the blasphemous consummation. You have Immolation‘s sense of technical, melodic rhythm, Gorguts‘ complex, multi-faceted structure, and Crowpath‘s sprinkled, inventive drumming and dirty sludge (echoing elements of Intronaut‘s progressive workings) with a wall-of-sound effect that would satisfy the biggest Portal and Mitochondrion fans.

The riffs are chaotic, massive in complexity, harmonic in structure, and would easily make Bob Vigna wet himself in delight. Jamie Saint Merat’s drum performance is tight and immense, creating a cacophony of percussion that will appeal to all fans of technical drumming. And new vocalist Paul Kelland fits the music much more than previous vocalists: he emits a coarse, mammoth growl that sounds like the closest approximation to a human mastodon that our pitiful vocal chords will ever achieve.

Everything Is Fire is so mind-warpingly intense that it could probably render you sterile. Seriously, I think my left nut just exploded. To say this is a mandatory purchase would be a massive understatement of an order so vast it would be obvious to braindead children. If you haven’t picked up an Ulcerate album before, Everything Is Fire is the album to do so, no excuses allowed. Bow to your new god.

Review byNecro-tron