Teufel's Tomb » Reviews » Voetsek “Infernal Command”

Voetsek
"Infernal Command"

Artist:

Voetsek

Album:

Infernal Command

Label:

Selfmadegod Records

Year:

2008

Format:

Tracks:

Genre:

Thrash Punk

What do you get when you take high paced crossover thrash and add a fat chick vocalist whose voice sounds like an angry Chipmunk? Voetsek’s Infernal Command.

Musically Voetsek sound exactly how you’d expect a Bay-area crossover thrash band would sound like: cheesy 80s high paced thrash with simple drumming and riffs and a thin production typical of 80s thrash releases. Every cliché you can think of is contained in the music of Voetsek. If you’ve heard any thrash/punk/crossover/fastcore album, you’ve already heard every riff on Infernal Command.

The only thing that sets Voetsek apart from the countless other bands who play this exact style are the vocals of Ami Lawless. I swear this fat pig sounds like she’s full of helium and her shrieks and growls are both hilarious and fucking annoying at the same time. She does a lot of high speed motormouth vocals, but it sounds like she has a tongue ring, either that or her tongue is swollen, but you can hear her lisping her way through the tracks.

Bottom line is Voetsek fucking suck. I had to turn this shit off 20 minutes into my first listen because if I had to listen to any more of this I’d likely end up punching the first fat broad I see in the face out of sheer annoyance. This is worse than listening to a fat drunk pig shrieking outside of a bar on a Friday night. You know the type, the broad who can’t handle her liquor and is staggering and stumbling around and won’t stop screaming at people walking past for no fucking reason at all. The kind of bitch you just want to throw hotdogs at, hoping they land in her fat maw so she’ll start chewing and stop yelling. I just want to shove a ball gag in her mouth, kick her onto a treadmill and whip her every time she tries to stop. Fuck this terrible band, but don’t fuck the singer unless you want your cock to get lost in an abyss of gut and neck fat. Written By: Teufel

Find more articles with: Crossover, Punk, Review, Selfmadegod Records, Teufel, Thrash, Voetsek

18 Responses to “Voetsek “Infernal Command””

1
A-V Says:
November 15th, 2008 at 7:45 pm I’m grateful that the only song I’ve ever heard by Voetsek was Fifty-two seconds long. I want that annoying woman to use the extra fat on the back of her neck and hang herself with it.
2
Necro-tron Says:
November 16th, 2008 at 1:10 am Dude, I have to wrestle myself to listen to this thing. Sitting through the entire disc was an exercise in self-control and discipline. I still have no idea what the fuck was going on in this thing.
3
Dysenteric Says:
November 16th, 2008 at 2:14 am I remember seeing that vocalist at Obscene Extreme a few months back. You haven’t seen fat until you’ve seen her on stage. At least seeing that tub o’ lard makes me feel better about my own weight. And if my memory’s right, she does have a tongue piercing.
4
Marcus Says:
November 16th, 2008 at 3:37 am That fat bitch has to be a post op-tranny. But then again when they’re that fat there’s no way to tell the gender. The music wasn’t that bad, just the cliched atypical sounds of the genre. Now the voice of that THING, wow…horrible.
5
eric Says:
November 16th, 2008 at 7:54 am Apparently a guitar player from insanity is in this band…man i feel bad for him, thats a preatty big dropoff in my opinion, i mean going from insanity which was awesome technical death/thrash to this..i can’t even describe what the hell this is its just shit.
6
Dysenteric Says:
November 16th, 2008 at 10:53 am “But then again when they’re that fat there’s no way to tell the gender.” Hahaha, that reminded me of their promo picture they had on the OE website. I thought that the vocalist was a guy, and it took me three minutes to work out that (s)he was a woman when they were on stage. And I’d just eaten as well…
7
Etan Rosenbloom Says:
November 16th, 2008 at 1:33 pm Man, what’s up with all the fat-o-phobia up in this piece? Like you’ve never seen a fat person in a metal band before? Messiah Marcolin from Candlemass is pretty porky and he’s amazing. Same with Vinnie Paul from Pantera and T-Roy from Sourvein. Beer guts are part and parcel with metal - I feel like it’s just ‘cuz Ami Lawless is female that you’re making fun of her. I have a feeling Ami’s not too sad that she won’t be subject to your 11-year-old masturbatory fantasies - go read Revolver if you want to jack off to chicks in metal bands. That said, I loved this album. I’m so fucking sick of all of the retro-thrash crap going on that to have a whole lot of power violence feel in Infernal Command was a breath of fresh air. What other band made a thrash record this varied and fun this year?
8
A-V Says:
November 16th, 2008 at 10:30 pm @ Etan Rosenbloom What’s the problem with making fun? Just because she should be in the kitchen sweatin’ off a couple hundred pounds next to the stove making food and children instead of annoying retarded records doesn’t make us fat-o-phobic. Some people, I swear!
9
Etan Rosenbloom Says:
November 17th, 2008 at 12:23 pm There’s a line between making fun and being a douchebag, one which Teufel’s Tomb’s reviewers and commenters crosses all the time. I’m not gonna even comment on the rampant homophobia that’s splattered across the site’s reviews and comments sections — I’ve just sort of accepted that that’s the way the site reviews music, and while I hate that, occasionally there are insightful points made, and certainly I’ve been exposed to a lot of good shit on this site. Bottom line, Ami Lawless’s body type has absolutely no impact on the quality of the music, good or bad, so I don’t really get why it’s a focus at all. It’s like you’re comparing dick sizes or something. “Who can come up with the more offensive joke at someone’s expense?” Who cares? Tell me why the MUSIC is good or bad.
10
Teufel Says:
November 17th, 2008 at 1:02 pm I bet when Ami Lawless cries, she sheds tears of butter.
11
Little Johnny Says:
November 17th, 2008 at 1:47 pm I partially agree with Etan Rosenbloom, although the singer is fat and annoying, there are many other bad things about the band, why doesn’t anyone mention the extremely weak production? or the total lack of originality in songwriting? or the attempt to jump on both the retro-thrash and trendy “power-violence” bandwagon? Still, the fact that the most remarkable thing about this band is the singer’s extreme ugliness probably says more about them than I could.
12
A-V Says:
November 17th, 2008 at 1:59 pm No no friend. Not butter, but Crock.
13
Teufel Says:
November 17th, 2008 at 2:30 pm Leif will be coming out of retirement to write more reviews. You’ve been warned.
14
Licky Says:
November 18th, 2008 at 1:34 pm Hehehe, damn. This band is hilarious.
15
Steve the hesher Says:
December 8th, 2008 at 1:05 pm not really sure why such a harsh review was given to this band/album/singer. immature adolescent humor goes far in cyber world i guess. which is lame in my opinion. who cares what somebody looks like? christ are you guys really that insecure about yr little wieners? anyhow i really like this album and band. Ami’s vocals are fucking brutal and remind me of Blain from the Accused. it seems the production on this particular release was over worked in pro-tools or some other computer crap. especially the drums the drummer being the weak link on this album. but other than that i think it is a solid album that i have been listening to regularly over the past few months.
16
Noah Says:
December 26th, 2008 at 7:52 pm I’m curious how often you guys get laid? This is a good zine but come on give her a break. What is this the Grimoire of exalted deeds now or what? Just admit you don’t like this style of music or name a crossover thrash/fastcore band you actually do like.
17
Sam Says:
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:16 pm Voetsek is a really fast thrashcore band, this album was totally different from what they usually play, I think they did it remarkably well. I won’t comment about Ami’s body weight because I don’t care about it, but I will say she’s got really good pipes.
18
Alice Says:
January 4th, 2009 at 7:25 pm You guys are crazy: this album RIPS! And as far as the comments about the singer’s appearance, shut the fuck up! There’s TONS of FAT UGLY METAL guys out there who play in bands and no one says anything about what they look like when their bands are reviewed and that’s the way it should be: just about the music. You geeks probably still live with your parents and have never touched a real woman.