Here we have the European release of Philadelphia-based XXX Maniak’s Harvesting The Cunt Nectar on Poland’s Selfmadegod Records, which includes the original full length offering plus one bonus track. For those of you unfamiliar with XXX Maniak they are a cyber porn grind act consisting of Rumpelstiltskin Grinder bandmates Jason Sidote (vocals) and Matt Moore (everything else).

Prior to receiving this promo I’d never bothered to check out XXX Maniak and based on what other people had told me about the band I had extremely low expectations for this release. The first sign that this album wasn’t going to exceed my expectations is that Rumpelstiltskin Grinder are a thrash band, a genre not closely related to gore, porn or cybergrind. Secondly, the artwork looks like it was done by the same guy who did artwork for Avulsed which is so retarded and gay that it can officially be classified as gaytarded. As it turns out it’s actually the guy who’s done recent artwork for Mortician and Guttural Secrete, which is actually worse. Thirdly, this album contains "guest appearances" by members of Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Prosthetic Cunt and Vile. Ugh. Fourthly, and most importantly, I can count the number of good cybergrind bands on one hand.

I figured I’d give XXX Maniak the benefit of the doubt and gave their debut full length a spin. Midway through my initial listen my girlfriend walked into the room and proclaimed "This is fucking sick!" Considering I was feeling less than impressed about the material presented on the effort, I asked her what she meant. It seems I misunderstood what she said, she was actually referring to my veiny porksword which she’d actually referred to as being "fucking thick!" Naturally I agreed with her.

Though I had my expectations set really low, I wasn’t expecting the material on Harvesting The Cunt Nectar to be as bad as it is. The music is basically what one would expect from a cyber porngrind act; annoyingly repetitive drum machine beats, short chuggy riffs and an overabundant use of audio samples. What makes XXX Maniak a pure annoyance are the shit-awful vocals, dull riffs and ridiculously lame audio samples used. 31 tracks in 24 minutes, with about 12 minutes wasted on "shocking" rape/murder/pedophilia-based samples.

I’ve heard people rave about the "great" production on this effort, handled by none other than Scott Hull, however, I can’t help but wonder what the fuck album these people were listening to when they made that statement because it obviously wasn’t Harvesting The Cunt Nectar. A "great" production for any extreme grind album is something rough and nasty, not something that sounds like Buzzsaw, Laserbeak, Ravage and Rumble being poo pounded by Soundwave. It just sounds like a way shittier version of Libido Airbag, which I didn’t even think was possible until now.

Considering XXX Maniak are a joke band, it really isn’t surprising that this album is fucking awful, but to surpass Libido Airbag as the worst band in existence is a true feat. If you’re looking for some killer cybergrind, check out Gigantic Brain and Catasexual Urge Motivation. If you want to hear some great porngrind, listen to (early) Gut, Cock And Ball Torture, Anal Blast and Rompeprop. If you’re in the mood for drum-machine backed metal, you can’t go wrong with the reissue of Necrophagist’s Onset Of Putrefaction or anything by Fuck…I’m Dead. If you just happen to be someone who listens to XXX Maniak and are angered by my comments, that’s fine, keep it to yourself, because if you moan to me about how great they are I will tear into you so badly I will make you vomit through your anus and shit out of your mouth.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go grab a shotgun, take this copy of Harvesting The Cunt Nectar behind the shed and give it the Old Yeller treatment so it can’t harm anyone else’s eardrums again. Written By: Teufel