Nick Benoitschwitz

• Lair of the Minotaur “The Ultimate Destroyer”

  This is the End of Irony. Looking at these song titles ("Juggernaut of Metal", "The Hydra Coils Upon This Wicked Mountain"), all I can think of is that stupid ass Metalocalypse cartoon that so many halfheads out there have turned into a viable cultural phenomenon. Listening to this record, all I can think of is what [...]
  http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/lairoftheminotaur-theultimatedestroyer/

• Odious Mortem “Cryptic Implosion”

  Although the band name sounds like it might translate to "Dead Oddie", Odious Mortem play the kind of death metal that restores my interest in the long-since punchline reduced genre. Cryptic Implosion opens with the amazing "Fractured Oblivion", which sounds like a death metal history lesson condensed into one furious explosion of a song, mixing the [...]
  http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/odiousmortem-crypticimplosion/

• Lecherous Nocturne “Adoration of the Blade”

  Fast. Short. Angry. South Carolina’s Lecherous Nocturne deliver 23 minutes of bowel eroding kill metal with their debut Adoration of the Blade, which only hints at the chaos to come when there next release (featuring new drummer Jeremy Nissenbaum) drops later this summer. Oh but what a hint it is…sort of like a clawhammer to [...]
  http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/lecherousnocturne-adorationoftheblade_2/

• The Chuck Norris Experiment “The Chuck Norris Experiment”

  What the fuck is this doing here? The Chuck Norris Experiment sounds like they might play spazz-happy quirk-grind in the vein of The Locust, Dillinger Escape Plan, Daughters, An Albatross, and other cutesy-poo ironic garbage, but there is a far more vile sort of suck a foot here. This is really puerile simple minded cock-rock along the [...]
  http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/thechucknorrisexperiment-thechucknorrisexperiment/

• ASRA “Alleged Satanic Ritual Abuse”

  ASRA is gearing up their first "proper" release this summer, entitled The Way of All Flesh. They play the kind of death metal that you may have found on Earache or Roadrunner in 1993. On their 2006 demo, ASRA show themselves to be very tight musical outfit with a good ear for vocal contrast. The strongest [...]
  http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/asra-allegedsatanicritualabuse/

• Dim Mak “Knives of Ice”

  As a label, Willowtip goes through hot periods, cold periods, and sometimes just periods. Don’t really have much of a lead-in for that sentence, just thought I’d say. Anyway, Dim Mak are ninjas who play really catchy death metal. I think they’re ninjas, cause the concept behind this record is supposed to be some crazy martial [...]
  http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/dimmak-knivesofice_2/

• Craft “Fuck The Universe”

  Despite the childishly innocuous album title, Fuck the Universe by Craft is a solid, well produced, strongly written piece of pissed off black metal with hints of headiness that never veer too far into the "pretentious bullshit" category. It stays savage and ugly, skirting that horizon that separates the Darkthrones from the Deathspell Omegas, the [...]
  http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/craft-fucktheuniverse/

• Utuk Xul “Goat of the Black Possession”

  Can we finally put a cap on loooooooooooooooooooong keyboard/organ intros in Metal? It’s not scary or "atmospheric" or interesting. I get it, you’re gloomy and dark and stuff. I don’t care, I just want some Sub-Underground Disgust that’ll make me wanna make passionately violent love to a nun’s asshole. Utuk Xul deliver in that respect, though, [...]
  http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/utukxul-goatoftheblackpossession/

• Officium Triste “Giving Yourself Away”

  And my career as a writer for Teufel’s Tomb starts in a fashion not to dissimilar to a gaggle of clown cars falling on top of my prone form after I’ve been hit with a train full of group-home escapees and nympho-fecalphilliacs. As I’m listening to Giving Yourself Away from Rotterdam’s chief musical export (I [...]
  http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/officiumtriste-givingyourselfaway/

• Vorkuta “Into the Chasms of Lunacy”

  To me, there are only two kinds of Black Metal; the kind that makes you want to kill and the kind that makes you want to die. Hungarian act Vorkuta’s session drummer on their current release Into the Chasms of Lunacy is named Tom Nihilist. Just felt like mentioning the name; Tom Nihilist. That little bit [...]
  http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/vorkuta-intothechasmsoflunacy/

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